How many times Toto was in trouble. Usually food related: stealing food from peoples plates. The time she was like the wind invisibly sliding through and grabing a muffin off the plate of an elderly guest as she was reaching for it but stopped to look up and say a word when she finished the reach there was not a hint of a muffin or dog in that room. I think she was concerned that she had made up the whole vision of a muffin. Doors were never a problem and early on i got locks on any food related cabinets in my kitchen. She was a beagle and at 8 weeks old there was never a cuter puppy. She was assertive from an early age. When i went to the breeders house to look at the puppies there were two- Toto who was very little and her brother who was huge for a puppy. The puppies were playing and kept running behind some boxes where they would wrestle and i would hear blood curdling cries . I was so upset that the big brutus boy puppy was going to hurt my puppy. I expressed my concern to the breeder who apparently had seen many of these brawls. She told me it was toto beating up her brother causing the cries. True to form she remained assertive and stubborn her whole life. I loved her through it all and though she was not a cuddly dog she always would follow me around keeping one eye on me but attempting to always pull this off without expressing any interest or affection unless food was involved then she got obedient momentarily and even would lick my hand - or was this just looking for a last flavor of food? She had diabetes insipidus for the last 8 years and i gave her daily shots for this. It was not difficult to treat and thankfully did not affect her lifespan. In the end she was very alzheimery and meds wernt helping . The last day she was in pain . She had these bad days before but i felt without a doubt that this was the day. I never want to take a life a day early but nor do i want them to suffer 1 day more than necessary. I felt that intuitively she would make it through the summer. The night before i took her in i got an extra blanket for my bed -it was turning cold. Toto was shivering from pain and when i took her to the vet she layed on the table resting- if she had been herself we would have been the ones resting on the table after she shredded us to get off. The doc had a hard time finding the vein and there was no fight. I feel comforted by seeing all these signs that i did the right thing. Its been 4 days and i feel so sick - like ive been run over by a truck. The sadness comes and goes but the physical pain and exhaustion seems worse right now. I just took to my bed and my husband is pretty judgemental about how people deal with grief so i dont talk about this with him. Anyhow i miss my Toto - i think she was pretty time intensive to care for because of her shots and having to food proof the house especially when young children came over- shehad no problems getting the food out of their hands. My last beagle got liver cancer at 8 . I was happy that as far as i know she didnt have cancer or a protracted suffering. Now im a little worried about my other dog who is 11 i am much closer to her. I dont think i could take a worse grief than this.