About 7 years ago my life was changed beyond words that can be spoken. My mom got a little black lab and named her Jayden, all i really remember is her big brown eyes with this spark by her pupil, this yellow, thriving glow. At first this dog despised me, she wouldnt let my touch her nor feed her. I was just an annoyance living among her. Yet after many trying times Jayden and I only had each other. When i cried she licked my tears, when i laid down she refused to let me be gloom. She we continuously jump on top of me, lick my face, and grunt playfully. Without much notice this dog had became my best fried....My daughter. I protected her, i took her every where with me just like a child. If i was invited for a sleep over Jayden came to. Once i became pregnant i could tell Jayden could sense the fetus inside me and was not happy about it. However being only 18 i knew i would need her just like i always had when i was littler. After my son had been born it was hard to balance the attention evenly, between being a young single mother a newborn and a 5 year old black lab my attention had to go towards my child. I felt our bond slipping, i could see the hurt in her eyes. However as i started balancing things out Jayden and I reconnected fast and our bond was stronger than even because now she took my son in like an annoying brother that crawled and drooled all over her. She was not too thrilled by the new arrival but made it well known she loved him as much as she loved me. Not long after she herself gave birth to 3 very healthy beautiful puppies, 2 white males and a little black girl. I was there for the birth through the departure of them finding homes. She was crushed, i could see her glow fade but with my loving arms and non stop belly rubs the glow was back and my little old lady was just fine. Soon after the hard separation of her litter i lost my home, our home, i had to live with my baby daddy which caused lots of stress. However even through the times i wish my existence was no longer she nudged me and cuddled right next to me. She was my rock, my big black rock that through everything always gave me a reason to push on. Living there soon fell through also and the hardest thing had to happen.... i fought tooth and nail but i eventually had to choose what was best for my son...i had to give Jayden up for my aunt while i lived with my uncle Joe...day by day i watched animal planet...crying...i heard the neighbors dog outside and water filled my eyes...she was my first kid...she was my daughter... once again living there did not work and i begged my aunt to let me live with her. With much hesitation she said yes and me and my Jay Bug where reunited. I have never ever heard a dog "talk" so much! She was so happy to see me! Even though it had been less than 2 months it felt like years...i was then given news that i was not too pleased about..their dog Demon, a very weird and bi polar Doberman Pintcher had knocked her up. I knew deep down it was a bad idea...her first litter was complicated...She had a broken heart from just 3 leaving..i had no clue what was in store but i knew i was going to be there...like she had always been there for me...Things fell through once again but i got a place right next door to my aunt therefore i tried to make it a daily routine to see my girl. On May 21st 2013 my babygirl gave birth to 8 BEAUTIFUL babies, yes 8! One was born stillborn, however 7 was good enough. The babies grew amazingly, BIG very big and very strong...there was one in certain that I, myself swore i would look after as a piece of my little girl when she was gone, his name was Seven....he was son beautiful he looked like a bear cub. All the puppies where very unique and not one was identical to the other. However on July 10th i had gotten a message on Facebook from my aunt...asking for the vets number....instantly i felt like i had been shot...my gut hurt, my chest was tight...i knew something big, something bad was happening...but i had absolutely no clue what... i had no way to actually contact my aunt so i called the vet and asked if she had arrived and what was going on on...he was not wanting to talk but all i was told was a puppy had died and it was sure signs of Parvo...Parvo...what i nasty disease! I went next door with my boyfriend and started cleaning and getting a bath ready just praying my Seven had not died and that Jayden was okay....They arrived and i helped bath the puppies, force feed them...hold them...just comfort them...we tried our hardest with them...antibiotics, pedialyte, everything...but some where just too weak... In one day 3 where gone...However my Seven was still going strong and Jayden, i comforted my little Jay Bug i could see the glow fading...the glow i first noticed when she first came home...i did not know if it was depression or sickness but i was still there with tons of hope and i held onto her...The next day Seven went down hill fast...i had went to the store and when i came home my boyfriend gave me the news that he was dead too...my heart was completely shattered... My little boy was gone...However we still had 2 puppies acting extremely healthy and my little Jayden was right there with them every step of the way, still doing flips and eating like a horse...Then overnight, pretty much!, she just deteriorated...she was lying around not active...her puppies could not really motivate her and neither could I...her mom...her best friend...i tried everything...i really did, i gave her a bath to make her feel really good and maybe start fighting but nothing..Nothing helped...nothing worked...Just looking into her big brown eyes i knew...i knew she was slipping and i had no damn clue when she would go and how long i had...i did not want to sleep that night but i was o tired, i had been crying so much, i just wanted just 1 hour of sleep...around 3am July 15 i awoke to her howling...her making this awful grunting sound...That was then i knew...this was it...i knew my baby was dying...there was not one thing i could do but love her...tell her it was okay if though it wasnt...i picked her up and laid outside and my boyfriend woke up my family... we all circled around her and gave her much comfort...she keep loosing her breath but did not just go...i could tell she wanted to fight...but i kept kissing her forehead and telling her no more suffering, just go be with Seven and that I will be with her soon enough..i thanked her for everything...for always being there...i could not help but cry and cry...At 3:40AM she took her last breath...40 minutes felt like hours...she laid there fighting grasping onto my leg just trying to fight death...it was beyond horrible...no one should even have to feel that feeling...so helpless, and your heart breaking, literally hurting in your chest as you have to tell your best friend to just let go...I wrapped her up in one of her favorite blankets and placed her in the back seat of my aunts car....Carrying her lifeless body to car was so hard, my legs where so heavy, my chest had a constant lingering pain...it was hard to breathe...my heart literally was broken...When morning came we gave my grandmother the devastating news and asked to bury her there. She deserved to be buried in a guaranteed places where i can visit her. We bought flowers and a cross and put it on her grave...we buried her with good bye notes beautiful flowers hand picked from my grandmothers garden. Jayden had changed a lot of lives in her own unique way... She touched many hearts... Many miss her but not as much as i miss My Jay Bug.
I dream of her night after night. Day after day i hold her surviving puppies and tears do fall...there is one that i got to name her name is Nala...She is so much like Jayden and is already very close with me...No one will ever be able to take Jaydens place not filled her spot in my heart but having her daughter to take care of is not a chore but a mission; a mission to give Nala the kind of life and love Jayden and i shared but way better.
Jayden Welcome to Rainbows Bridge, and to all the babies that passed, Sugar, Ellie, Frosty and Seven. Momma will be there soon to hold you once more.