Dear God,
You have tested me again today. It's only been four weeks. My heart hasn't healed yet from losing my baby. Today my Lindy left me. I should think the fact that you have all my other children you would have given me Lindy for a little more time. We needed each other.
I hope she closed her eyes and was greeted by Widget, Amelia and Misty. She has missed Widget this past four weeks. She wandered the house every day checking up on the sofa and on top of the bed. She knew her sister had to be in one of those spots sleeping soundly. When she wandered for days and couldn't find her, she branched out and looked elsewhere. She knew her baby sister wouldn't leave without saying "good-bye". They were inseparable for ten years. They were at my side for ten years.
I was blessed that hot July day when I walked into an antique store and saw those sad brown eyes behind a little fence with a sign saying, "need a good home". When I was told she had been badly abused and the shop owner had just brought her in that morning - I knew we were meant to be together.
We got home and walked into the house to meet Amelia and Misty. They took one look and said, "Mom has brought us another sister". That was that. She was welcomed into safe arms from that moment on. She had a loving mom and sisters that she adored.
Lindy never left my side- no matter if I got off the couch to go to the kitchen- she followed. My days of privacy were over. She sat in the bathroom waiting for me each morning. If I had to go to work, she was sitting on the cold concrete every night waiting and watching through her fence. She let me park my car but as soon as I opened the car door she bounced and barked to greet me. All the way into the house she was like a pogo stick. How wonderful it was to be so loved by god's creatures.
Tonight will be the first night in twenty years I won't have my pups to tend to. It's the first night I won't have them breathing softly and sleeping soundly. I won't be able to check on them several times before I'm sure they're settled in and I can go to sleep. I don't know what I will do tomorrow when I don't have to get clean bowls and fresh water before I start my day. I don't know what I will do for days and weeks to come. My girls were the loves of my life.
Please God take care of my babies. Please heal the blind eyes, deaf ears and terrible seizures they endured in their precious lives. I know they will be safe and happy if they are all together again.
Please heal the pain in my broken heart.
May 30, 2010