On September 29th, 2008 at 2:43 PM you took your last breath in my arms. I would have spent any amount of money to save you, to give you a longer healthy life with me, but the nasty cancer that took over your body was beyond any amount of money I could have spent to save you.

You were the best dog in the world to me and always will be. You have been with me through my whole adult life, through every relationship, job, automobile, and material item that I have owned to date. I'm going to be so lost with out you baby. I gave you the best life I could and I believe you had a wonderful fulfilling life with me. You have always been there for me no matter what I was going through. You're love and companionship was more than I could have ever expected from an animal. You and I had such a special bond that only maybe another animal lover could understand.

I sit here in your chair with your pillow and blanket smelling them for that final scent of you! That old dirty dog smell that only I could love about you. No matter how many tears I cry for you I know your never coming back to me and that kills me! I would have kept you around forever, but I know that wouldn't have been fair to you. Sunday when you stopped eating and became so weak over night I knew the pain from the cancer had become so unbearable for you to handle. As much as I loved you and wanted you here with ME, I knew there was only one thing I could do for you. It was a choice I had so hoped that I wouldn't have to make, but when it came down to it I knew it had to be done. You went so gracefully still making me proud. I know you're no longer in pain, and even though it hurts so bad and I'm so heartbroken with out you, I know you're better off. It's hard for me to accept that right now, but I know I made the right choice for you because I did and do love you so much.

It's going to be hard for me for a while getting used to not making sure you have been let outside to relieve yourself, have fresh food and water, the blinds are up so you can see what's going on outside, putting the TV on animal planet, your blanket is fluffed all before I leave to go somewhere. You were such a spoiled dog...lol. Coming home for the first time without you today was a sad experience. I'm used to you being on the sofa where your other mamma doesn't like you to be, waking up from one of your old man naps hurrying to get down before she see you.

Tonight, I laid in bed crying from missing you to only get up and look for you to be laying next to the bed making sure not to step on you. It's only been a few hours, but every time I catch my self doing something that was just so natural to me to do when it came to caring for you my stomach just fills with butterflies and I'm filled with some type of anxiety that I don't even understand.

I was looking at some old pictures of you from your younger years, when you were a solid black pup, not the salt and pepper grayed hair old man I've become used to seeing over the last few years! Oh Midnight, you were SUCH a handsome and great dog all the way to the end baby. I know you know how much momma loved you. Trust me I know how much you loved me. I'm very thankful for the time we had together and will forever cherish the memories we've had. This wasn't the way I wanted you to go out, but I didn't get to choose. You know momma would have chosen something much better for you. I will miss you dearly Midnight, but I'm glad you don't have to suffer any longer. Take care my four legged son, Momma Loves and will miss you so much!

I could only wish that every pet owner gets to have this most wonderful opportunity to feel what I have from their own relationships with their pets. Thank you for reading what I call my emotional release of my grieving broken heart for my very own beloved Midnight!

R.I.P. my sweet sweet Baby - 1994 to 2008