I said goodbye and I love you to my beautiful baby girl Minnie, before I left Saturday afternoon to meet my friends for a surprise engagement party. Minnie spent the whole morning with me following me in all around the house. Cuddling up with me on the couch as I applied my make-up. I played with Minnie and gave her plenty of belly rubs. She walked me to the door as usual before I left. A couple of hours later I received the phone call that changed my life. Minnie was dead... I couldn't believe it, I couldn't cry... it was hard to breathe. My friends immediately drove me to the emergency vet, where I was able to see Minnie's body. She looked so peaceful and beautiful, though she was hit by a car. I couldn't help but cry. My heart felt an instant crack. I couldn't believe it, I couldn't understand why. My brother was home at the time of the accident. He took the trash outside and as he tried to enter the house, Minnie jetted out of the door, which was unusual behavior for her. She has never did this before. She made it to the bottom of the stairs near the street, looked back as my brother yelled no Minnie stay! And she ran straight into the street. She died instantly, which I found to be a relief, but this was still too much to bear.

Minnie was my baby, my child, my love... I couldn't believe this. I was blessed that she did not feel any pain and that she did not have any broken bones and looked as if she was resting. My parents came up from out of town, an hour away, and we took her back to their house to prepare for a burial the next day. That evening I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I couldn't talk; all I could do was cry. I had lost the most important part of my life. My joy, my sweet little baby.

I am hopeful that I will see her again. I've had tremendous amount of support from my loved ones. I pray everyday for Minnie to be okay. I miss her so much. I just feel that although people sympathize with me and empathize, they do not feel what I feel. I feel broken. Will this ever get better? I feel guilt for leaving her this day. Was she running to find me? Did she think I had come home early? Did I not give her a safe environment to live in? She didn't have much yard to play in and I live very close to a busy street. I hope someday I will see her again. I miss her with all my heart.