For Ruby: I sat in my chair the other day, while Suki sat close to me and I felt your presence. I felt that overwhelming sense that you were close to me and suddenly felt sad. I felt you climb onto my lap and I knew that you had come to me, during this moment of thought -- just like you always do.

The ocean heals me Roo. The salty water rises and falls around me, like giant pillows of rain, spilling through my skin and saturating my mind. I could see clearly all the way to the white shores of Moreton Island yesterday..it was amazing. I sit and allow the ocean to pick up my frail body and take her where she wants me to roll. I go with her movements and know that I am safe in her strong arms. My skin has healed in only three weeks since I have been bathing in the ocean. I feel refreshed again. Today, I watched three aeroplanes fly high out of Brisbane International and reach for the clouds. I was amazed. I wondered if I would ever be strong enough again, to fly with a gaint silver bird. I am out of the city and in the fresh breezes of a new land, surrounded by water that is nourishing my angst. It is wonderful.I think of you again and wanted to write this short letter to you, to tell you that in the 18 days that I have not written, that it has not been without thoughts of you.

My feet dig deep into the sand and cling to the tiny toes of the ocean floor, who help me balance within water that sometimes swallows me whole. Fresh from the Coral sea, I lie back, swaying back and forth on waves that sometimes swing me into the shoreline. The sky is clear and a very light blue colour - its clarity is majestic. Sometimes, she is angry- too angry to be friends with and during these times, I stay very close to the shoreline, and just search for shells that she has not wanted.

On these days, I have wanted to swim with her, but the sky was also moody and I just watched her change her mind, constantly. I kept my distance. My thoughts are with you in this joy, I am sad that you are not with me here in this rambling old house, which cares for us. Suki is so well cared for and obviously a very lucky cat. He is playful, wistful, thoughtful and is growing up to be a fine little cat -- just like you. He reminds me of you and our bond grows every day, as he matures with time. I wish you were here Ruby, with me, with us, and most of all, I wish I could give you the smell of the ocean on my body when I arrive home.

I sometimes just sit for hours and listen to music of old songs playing and remember my youth. We are not far from Bribie Island and the salty water is different from her southern and golden sister (ie., the Gold Coast). I thank God for this wonderland, it has really helped me, it is my joy, my retreat, my healing and my entire life right now. Dad grows older with time, as my skin tries to desperately heal from the last four years. The sun is also trying to help me as well -- I can feel his warmth on my skin, but I can't take too much. I am so glad to be alive, when I am close to the ocean. I feel so sorry for those people in Haiti and can hardly believe that here I am living this life -- and there they are -- in great ruins. This is the tragic contrast of two worlds -- constantly divided. I wonder how God can give us times that test us in such different ways. I wonder why he does that to us. I have thanked him endlessly for this time here. He must have known that I needed it. But, my thoughts are with you, my dear animal child, my little sunshine, my baby of all animals.

FROM YOUR MUMMY 19 January 2010 - posted at 1035pm - AUSTRALIA