I miss my dog "pepsi" so much. There is not a day or night i don't think about her. Words cannot describe the pain that goes through my soul and heart when that day finally arrived.
She was eleven years old a small jack Russell. She wasn't well with cancer.
I was always bringing her back and fort to the vets getting her medications and injections to ease the pain i felt so sorry for her, because she would curl up into my arms and shake with fear remembering the smell and sounds of the other animals at the vet and of course the cruel injections.
But everytime it looked possible that she would get better it just got worse, she would continue to loose the weight would get sick everytime she tried her best to eat just abit.
I rang from work to get the results of her blood tests, and when it was bad news i just broke down there and then at my desk and started crying...flooded memories of the years growing up with my beloved dog and friend.People at work couldn't understand the pain that i was going through as they had no pets of there own.

A few months went by and i knew it was wrong to keep bringing her back and fort to the vets, it wasn't fair on her.Paul was our family vet since the start and he told me that it would be the best thing for her to put her to sleep.I knew that but i had to hear it from him because i would only keep on hope that there would be some miracle cure and i would get back my happy dog.

The apointment was made for the next morning :(

I stayed awake all night with her by my side knowing this was our last night together watching her sleep...i cried silently holding my breath so as not to wake her...i'm sure she sensed my sadness.
The drive to the vet was horriable, but i remained calm for pepsi and assured her that everything will be fine.

My mam went to Medugorie the year before and brought back some rosary beads for me and her friends.I could see the surprised look on everyone when i took the beads out and i placed the beads around her little head before the vet put her to sleep.( I had said a little prayer on the beads before going to the vet to keep her safe and i asked my granded who died from cancer to please look after her )
I looked into her beautiful brown eyes and whisppered into her ears as i hugged her and i said "i love you so much baby you are the most wonderful dog in the world and you will always be my baby, i will see you again one day".

I didn't want to let go but when she finally passed away. I cried the vet down, i even frighted myself the way i heard my self cry like i never knew possible..the suddon loss and shock ran through me.
I'd never get a dog again because even though its great for the few years i don't think i could go through that again, the ending is to painful to watch and bear.
I love you pepsi and you will never be forgottin - I am happy you are pain free and at rest. The house is not the same without you but I love the good memories you brought to the house and your family.
I Love you for eternity Pepsi !!!!
Lots of Love !!!!
Lisa xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
PS: I Keep you all in my thoughts and Prayers.