I wish I could translate
from my memory and my emotions
how much you meant to me each day
but it's muddled like the oceans
Every night I lay
with the hopeful notion
that I will wake up to find
that this was all a dream
I wouldn't mind
not waking up to scream
from the loss I still find
as tears stream
I find you still have left me
I live with guilt, an angry friend
a friend I can communicate
with but who screams to no end
I don't know how to relate
even to those whose ears they lend
Is there a deeper name
for pain?
A stronger adage
for rage?
Is there a way to employ
the joy
that you brought to me each day
that you still stayed?
Anything I have you can have.
Anything I can get I would give.
If I could find the salve
to let you live.