When I went away to my first college on a soccer scholarship, I had no idea what was ahead of me. I met wonderful people at the University, and through these new friends ended up adopting the love of my life, Jonas. After a year at school I decided to withdraw and headed home in my Toyota packed to the max with all of my belongings- and my brand new adopted dog... I was 19 at the time and hadn't told my parents exactly what was going on; I arrived home with my 70 lb. Shepherd mix by my side, and what I would equate to the feeling of a bowling ball in my stomach. I managed to get the words out, "Mom, Dad, I dropped out of school and have this great new dog! He catches frisbees!"
Needless to say, it was a bit rocky at first (the whole dropping out of school thing) but my parents, friends, and extended family all fell in love with Jonas almost as quickly as I did. A week after coming home, my friends and I went to the Earth Day celebration at the Cleveland Metro Parks Zoo. At the gates they were giving away baby white pine trees to plant. Each of us got one and decided on places to plant them. I called mine the Jonas Tree as he accompanied us to the planting spot (near my favorite river), and promptly marked the tree after it was planted:)For the next 6 years Jo and I were inseparable; we ran park trails, played frisbee, camped and hiked- I would go to the tree often with him- We watched it grow from a twig like sapling, to an almost 6 foot tall 'teenager'- a little awkward and lanky; but gorgeous none the less- and easy to see the potential beauty.
When I turned 25 a lot of things changed in my life seemingly all at once; I got my BA in Art (finally:)), left my then boyfriend, while bartending full time, and looking into graduate programs. Jonas and I moved in with my current boyfriend to a house in the city. Early in the year (2005) I suffered a fall at work, injuring my knee to the point where I needed surgery. I ended up being off work for the next 6 months. Right around this time I noticed Jonas looked a little thin and his energy seemed low. Taking him to the vet (on crutches) I learned that he had lymph node cancer. The vet estimated he had 2 months to live. After much discussion and thought we decided to use medication instead of chemotherapy. The medicine started to work almost immediately. Jonas went from death's door to back to him old self! Though I couldn't run and romp in the park because of my knee, we were able to spend every waking moment together. For the next 3 months he remained 'healthy'. I got to the point to where I questioned if he was still terminally ill or not- The vet was impressed with his response to the medication, but reminded me it was not a cure. I knew this deep down, and decided to love him and enjoy every second we were able to share.
In the beginning of June of '05 I took Jo to the tree. I noticed some of the needles were browning near the tips. We sat by the tree and enjoyed the light breeze and the sound of the river in the near distance. At this point Jonas had started refusing to take his pills- I couldn't even trick him by hiding them in food. My vet taught me how to essentially force feed him the medicine. I did that until the morning of June 14.
I woke up and Jo looked bad. He hadn't eaten for almost a day. I called my vet knowing what was inevitable. Everything happened so quickly; it's foggy in my head, but with my boyfriend and my mom at my side (and Jo's) we said goodbye. I cried so hard I was weak. That was the hardest time in my life thus far. When we left the vet, I asked my boyfriend to take me to the river; I wanted to sit for a moment by our tree. We got to the park and walked hand in hand in a daze out toward the tree. As we approached I was staring with my mouth wide open and my chin quivering; the tree was completely brown- every single needle was dry and brittle to the touch; falling to the ground when I ran them through my fingers. I looked at my boyfriend knowing that he understood it all. He held me in his arms and we cried by that tree for about an hour. We walked back to the car along the river's edge; both exhausted by emotions and tears. I lost my dog and my tree in one day.
We got to the house and sat in the living room. Side by side on the couch, neither of us could stand the silence. Our only son was gone, and we had no idea what to do with ourselves. I wanted to get out of the house, and needed some dog love. I begged my boyfriend to take me to the pound- it didn't take much for him to give in, and within the hour we were off local kennel.
On the way there, the sunny skies quickly got dark. The wind kicked up and what seemed like a tropical storm was all around us. We got to the pound, parked quickly and ran to the doors. After signing in, my boyfriend and I walked in to 5 rows of about 15 cages of dogs. I started at the far left. The first two cages were empty. I approached the third to see a large dog with caramel colored eyes. He was leaning against the front of the cage and looking right at me. He didn't bark or jump. I got closer and he remained in the same position while he slid one paw part way through the bottom of the cage door- as to shake my hand and say, "nice to meet you." Just then an employee walked by and I asked to take 'cage 3' to a 'meeting room' where we could sit together off leash to get better acquainted. My boyfriend came over and gave me a look like I was crazy, but came along anyway. In the room there was a cement bench and dog cookies. I sat on the bench while the caramel eyed dog walked right up to me, sat, put both his paws on my thighs and proceeded to lick the tears off my cheeks. He smiled and wagged his tail; I looked at my boyfriend knowing we weren't going home with out this dog.
Diesel is a 3 or 4 year old Shepherd/Lab/Mastiff mix. We adopted him hours after we lost our beloved Jonas. Diesel was already filmed earlier that day to be on our local news as an adoptable dog- As we were signing the paperwork they let us know that we'd be able to watch him on the 6 o'clock news since it was pre-recorded and set to air- I've now had Diesel for almost 3 years and every day I thank Jonas for timing things the way he did. I swear in his last act of loyalty and kindness he allowed Diesel and I to find each other at the moment when we needed each other most.
No dog will ever replace Jonas, as no dog will ever replace Diesel. I am just thankful for the love shared and lessons learned from the years that I was lucky enough to have Jonas by my side. I have faith that one day when I do cross that Rainbow Bridge, Jonas will be waiting, healthy and happy, in the cooling shade of that white pine.