I bought my precious, Shih Tzu puppy on July 30, 2000, when he was four months old. I named him Buddy. It fit him to a T. I carried him home in my arms as he stole my heart away forever. Oh, how I loved that little guy from the first moment I saw him. He was such a happy little furbaby.

When he was about one year old we noticed that his paws were deformed, especially the left front one. He couldn't walk very well and he couldn't run and play much at all. He developed a cyst on it where he dragged it when he walked. It required surgery, but because he constantly dragged it, he broke open the incision site and it would bleed. I had to keep bandages on it most of the time. Nothing dampened his spirit and he didn't seem to mind. Someone was always asking about the bandage, and it would drive me crazy having to explain over and over. He would look at me as if to say, "It's okay, Mom. I can handle this. It's no big deal."

He had dry eyes later and was losing his sight. As if all that wasn't enough, in December 2010, he was diagnosed with severe congestive heart failure. He was put on enalapril, furosimide and pimobendan. The meds seemed to help for several months, but I knew there was not going to be a cure for him. It gave him 13 more months with me, and I thank God for them. He had a horrible cough, and I couldn't find any medicine to relieve it. The vets tried, but they weren't much help at all. I learned there wasn't much at all that could be done for this devastating disease.

The last few nights he couldn't breathe at all. He sat up all night. The x-rays showed his heart had gotten so large that it had pushed his liver down into his stomach, and was squeezing his lungs until he couldn't get any air. I had no choice but to end his suffering.

On January 12, 2012 about 2 PM, he went back to his eternal home for good. I cried, and hugged him, and told him over and over how much I loved him. I loved him more than I loved my own life, but I couldn't bear to see him die. I had a friend, someone he loved, stay with him while the vet administered the necessary shots. He ws so far gone that only the shot to relax him was needed. He died like an angel - so peaceful. Thank you, God, for taking him back to be with you. Forgive me for being such a coward and not staying with him. I loved him too much to see his lifeless body. Thank you, God, that I got to say goodbye to him.

He loved cats so much. He was so fascinated by them. He loved chicken and spaghetti and could eat a ton of them, if I would let him. He was the funniest, smartest little guy in the world. He never outgrew his beautiful puppy face. He was indeed gorgeous with his beautiful gold and white fur. There'll never be another one like him and I can't wait until I will be with him again. We were always together. I took him everywhere I went. He loved to ride in the car. He was the light of my life. He was my life. It's been almost two years of total loneliness without him. I still cry for him so often.

I was extremely privileged to have had 11 years, 9 months, and 23 days with a perfect angel from heaven to share my life with. I have NO doubt that he is there now just waiting for me to join him. We have a very merciful, loving Heavenly Father who loves his creation - ALL of it, and he will not destroy any of it. Thank ou, Jesus, I will see my baby again someday forever.

Thank you, my precious angel, Buddy, for all the sunshine you brought into my life for almost 12 glorious years. You were my best friend and constant companion through all our ups and downs. I could face anything when I had you by my side. I can't imagine what my life would have been without your total devotion and unconditional love. I can't understand how life still goes on now without you. You had so many troubles, baby. Your little deformed paws wouldn't let you run and play like you wanted to so badly. Later, your little heart wouldn't let you live out your full life here. Now, I thank God that all your problems are over forever. You're healthy, happy, and whole.

Go chase the kitty cats you loved so much. Save a place for your mom, because I'll join you very soon. God gave me his best little angel for a little while. I knew I would have to let you go back home someday, but it came too soon. You taught me so much about patience and unconditional love. No matter how bad and painful things got for you, you took it all in stride. You never complained. I've never seen such courage, even in humans.

The day your ashes came back was a very painful day for me. It was only four days later. I was so scared to get them, but I wanted what little bit of you that was left. I couldn't bear to bury you and leave you behind in the old, cold ground. So now I have this little tiny box that's supposed to contain what's left of your body. I can't bear to open it and look at what's inside. I know it's only dust and that your soul is with God. Thank God I have tons of pictures of you from over the years, and all the precious memories. I look at your pictures constantly. God help me, sometimes the hurt is still so unbearable, even after all this time. That kind of love never dies, Thank God.
I will always love you, my furbaby angel. Til we meet again, I miss you so much.