Dear Little Artemis,
You are about to em "bark" ha ha get it, Bark, anyway, on a great adventure taking care of the humans that live in that house you're heading to. I remember more than 10 years ago, I saw their cute big, ugly faces peering into my whelping box, oohing and arrhing over me and my brothers and sisters. Let me tell ya, you need to totally freak out when you see them, they like that trait, guaranteed nice ride from here on out.
The hardest part is leaving your siblings and warm milk on a cold night or after your sister has beat you up over some stupid toy. All you'll need to do is whine, bark and do the puppy crying thing and they'll come running to save ya, plus they get annoyed with the whining!
They'll take you out to see other dogs, people and camping in their cars or truck. The house with the truck is o.k., bit large for a dog house, but it'll do. Just remember to behave yourself, don't jump around in the car cause it bugs your new mother. You'll need to walk nicely when they hook that rope to your neck or they'll yank back,nearly taking you off your feet. It scared me the first few times. Mama got a harness and I never yanked them around again, ha ha, or so they thought.
I've been listening and keeping a watch out for this big day. I heard them over talking about not letting you have any people food. I remember getting into the big thing that washes dishes to help pre-clean them. They thought it was cute and actually took pictures of me. OMG, one day my collar got hooked on the GD lower rack! It scared me so much, I yelped and cried, (we're good at that, don't forget, you'll get a treat) pulled the whole rack, dishes and all out of that machine halfway into the living room, still attached. It scared me so much, but wasn't long before my compulsion returned and I was pre cleaning again in no time.
They'll get you a cute little doggie bed but check out the chairs when you get a little taller and can jump into them. Much nicer and you can watch the action on that thing in the corner. Sometimes you'll see other dog on that, just watch for awhile, then bark and jump at them, they love it. They used to leave Animal Planet on for me to watch if they left me alone. There's even CATS on that thing.
Speaking of being left alone. Now listen up and listen up good. I already did the tearing up of any newspaper I could find, moved onto rolls of paper towels. I'm sure they'll remember all that stuff and try to keep it out of your reach. You'll need to find something else to do in retaliation I"M SURE you'll come through in the name of good "TollerHood"
They will drag home stuffed, squeaky toys for you to play with. I just loved chewing them open, haul out all the stuffing to get to that squeaker. I finally ended up with nothing but hard toys. THE BEST of all is the RED DOT oh yah! Please entertain them with antics by chasing that thing. They won't be able to resist getting that toy out for you. I think I last saw it on the kitchen counter. Now, I must warn you about something that happens when that RED DOT appears. You'll need to run to the front door to get outside after about 3-4 minutes cause you'll need to poop cause you're so happy!!!!! I don't think they'll forget that!
Don't forget to meet mama at the door when she gets home from work. She just loves all the hugs and kisses and besides, you'll end up with a treat, I'm sure. Now, about the treats. You'll need to cooperate on this one. They'll put a little doggie bone treat on the end of your nose. It takes awhile to catch onto what they want, but you'll get there. Now, the trick is to hold that bone there until you hear the command that it's ok, or they'll count to three. Funny, they thought I could actually count. They would even try all combinations of numbers. It was really that change in the pitch of their voice, up a Little, and nodding their head that was the real signal. They were cute though, thinking I could count hhahaha
I've noticed they have a CAT in residence. Old John Doe and Miss Jane Doe were waiting for me when I crossed the Rainbow Bridge. The current resident cat seems like he's cool and layed back. I'm sure you'll ruffle him up some, if you're a good dog you will.
There's one thing I need to get through your thick TOLLER brain, so listen and don't ever forget this. Believe me when I tell you to stay away from the road. I know I always did, in earlier years was on the "run" that's about half a mile long. I don't know what got into me that very horrible, terrible day, but I went near the road. They don't know the rest of the story, they can't even ask Paul Harvey now, inside joke little one. I don't know how it all happened, but suddenly there it was, that Rainbow Bridge and I just couldn't help but get closer to see what was on the other side......it was Nora and Bachi, my biological parents, and John and Jane Doe, my adopted cat siblings.
So, from here on out, it's your job to entertain, play, cost money, be bragged about, be shown off, go swimming, riding, go walking, maybe even an obedience class or two, perhaps three would be good! Until your day, I'll meet ya at the bridge............hunter