Kitty came to be 17 years ago when I was a college senior. She was maybe 3 months old, but I'm not really sure. Some girls who lived in the dorms got caught trying to hide Kitty in their room. Even then Kitty was vocal and mischievous! These girls asked me to take Kitty (though they had named her Kegger), and I am forever grateful that they did, despite all of the heartache I am suffering now.

Over the years Kitty stayed lovingly and faithfully by my side through a cross country move, a marriage, the birth of my son, my divorce, and another cross country move. She comforted me when I was sad and kept me company as I worked late into the night. Kitty was always there. Always willing to be snuggled---or at least tolerant of the many snuggles I gave her!

I loved everything about her. Her persistent meows for food. The way she'd tear up paper on my desk and knock over the bowl of paper clips every night around 3:30 am demanding she be fed. How she'd stare at me until I sat cross-legged in my chair so she'd have a comfy lap to sit on. The way she'd wait for me to get under the covers and turn out the light so she could snuggle to sleep with me. The way she'd always find a little sliver of sunlight to warm herself in. The way she stole a pork chop off of my son's dinner plate! How she'd cry for turkey and butter and even macaroni and cheese! She was so full of spirit, life and personality. She was very much a part of me and I am so lucky to have been able to take care of her---and for her to take care of me.

When Kitty was 7 years old she was diagnosed with kidney disease as well as a heart murmur and hypothyroidism. Her kidney disease was very bad and she needed hospitalization, daily medication, fluids, and a prescription diet. Miraculously, with daily home treatment she thrived for the next 10 years. The vet always told me that she did so well because of all of the love I gave her. Well, she loved me right back so I know that she deserves a lot of the credit also. A few months ago she developed a skin tumor, most likely fibrosarcoma, but we were never really sure. She also developed diarrhea that just kept coming back.

On Tuesday I came home and saw that she hadn't eaten any of her food. She wasn't interested in turkey or butter. That night she went to sleep with me but in the morning she wasn't there. I went to look for her in her usual spots but found her instead sitting in the middle of my son's room. I brought her to the couch and sat with her a while. I knew. She knew too. She couldn't walk. She couldn't control her urine. She cried out in pain. I woke up my son (age 7) and told him what was happening and we needed to say goodbye to our Kitty. We both cried terribly, but gave Kitty lots of kisses and all of the love in our hearts. I rushed Kitty off to the vet, but she didn't make it. She passed in the car.

Kitty loved me and my son as much as we loved her. She waited for the morning so we could say goodbye. And then she passed in the car so I wouldn't have to suffer with having to make the decision at the vet to let her go. Even at the end she took care of me. She knew I wouldn't be able to let her go, so she quietly left without a sound. As I drove to the vet she was in her case on the seat next to me. My hand was on her body stroking her. I heard one last breath and then she was gone. She went peacefully.

I know Kitty had a long life, and that I gave her the best life anyone could give to a kitty. I know she loved me as much as I loved her. I know that she is no longer ill or in any discomfort. I know that she is watching over me with love. I know I will one day be able to think of her without tears and sobs. I know one day I will be ready to give another cat a loving home. I know that even though I am in so much pain now, that Kitty helped to me be the kind of person who can open her heart to other cats who need love. I know I will never replace Kitty, but that Kitty will forever live in my heart.

I love you, Kitty. Mommy loves you.
You'll always be my Kitty.