We recently had to put our 15 year old lab mix to sleep. He was suffering from stomach or intestinal cancer, and was unable to keep any food nor water down. The last two weeks of his life, he had become severely dehydrated and was in the throes of starvation. Despite our best efforts to explain what we had to do, our 8 year old grandson is distraught, and keeps telling me, “Buddy, I don’t understand why you had to do that to NuNu.” I told him that the worst part of a severe illness for a pet is they don't know how to communicate it to us very well, and they don't understand why they are in the condition they are in, and why we don't do something about it.

I Don’t Understand

I don’t understand why my tummy hurts so bad. I don’t understand why I can’t sleep… I know if I could sleep, it would be all better, but it hurts so bad I can’t.

I don’t understand why when my Daddy picks me up from the floor, and lays me on my pillowbed, I have to lie perfectly still for a long time or it will hurt more.

I don’t understand why I can’t stop being thirsty. I don’t understand why when I drink something, I cough it back onto the floor.

I don’t understand why nothing I eat stays in my tummy. I don’t understand why I don’t even want to eat anymore.

I don’t understand why it hurts to breathe hard. I don’t understand why it hurts my tummy to pant.

I don’t understand why Mommy and Daddy are giving me so much attention, but I like it. I don’t understand why they’re so sad.

I don’t understand why they can’t make the pain in my tummy go away.

I don’t understand why Daddy took so long to take me to the vet. I don’t understand because Daddy always made me better when he brought me here.

I don’t understand why Daddy is crying.

I don’t understand why the nice lady is putting that needle in my arm, but it doesn’t hurt as bad as my tummy.

I do understand Daddy is scratching behind my ear nice, and I can see him smile at me, and hear him telling me it will be OK.

Now the pain in my tummy is going away. Daddy made it go away, like I knew he would.

I can sleep now.

Michael Forman - Aug. 2005