"Dancing Shadows Shed Bright Light"
I was heart broken after I had to put my fluffy black cat Dancer down. He had been very sick for a long time and we were both worn out. He was a rescue cat with a lot of anxiety issues in the beginning. But once he got used to being inside he went from lion to lap cat. It was hard the day that I knew his frail and weak body could take no more. They put us in Room 2, I held him, talked to him, as he peacefully went to sleep. I walked around in a fog for the next week. I had three other cats but he was my partner. He slept next to me for 11 years, followed me around the house, and always gave me unconditional love. After about two months my husband and I went to Petsmart and of course we had to stop and take a look at the cats searching for homes. We swore we were "just looking" but there was a small and very fluffy black kitten with wolf ears that was also looking. Right away I told my husband I did not want to adopt him because he was black and fluffy like my Dancer who I missed so much. I knew no other cat would ever replace Dancer. We held several kittens that day. We just couldn't stop talking about the little fluffy black kitten with wolf ears. The next day we went to see him again. As soon as we walked in he was on our lap purring and kneading. It was as if he chose us. We named him Shadow Wolf (Shadow for short). He was the cutest little bunch of joy. Soon I found myself laughing again, looking forward to coming home from work to play with him, and enjoying this blissful love you can only find in a kitten. It was as if Dancer was talking to him and told him everything to do. Which window to sit in and of course who's bed to sleep in. Shadow would always be right on my shoulder. His paws carefully nestled my face and he would purr at full volume every night. Sometimes I would put him at the foot of the bed but he would just run right back up to my shoulder and keep me awake. As he got older he did look similar to Dancer but he was his own cat. Loyal, playful, and sweet. Six months after we got him and in a very short span of days Shadow became extremely ill. His liver was failing and he was rapidly losing weight. I remember the day I took him to the animal hospital; he looked at me as if to say "I'm not going to come home". My heart ached as I just felt that we were going to lose him. My mind continued to search for logical explanations, a great cure, Super Vet, the correct tests, and after a week in the animal ICU it was clear nothing was going to save him. So there I was again in the Room 2, in the same situation, and this hurt so much because he was only a baby. As sick as he was he continued to purr as we prepped him for the procedure. He looked into my eyes as if to say "I'm going home". I held him and thanked him for the joy he brought to all. All though he would be gone too soon I knew I was blessed to even have him for one day. Looking back I believe Shadow taught me to keep my heart open. I wasn't too sure about the little black kitten with wolf ears in the beginning but in the end I was sure he was the greatest kitten I'd ever know. I felt like I was chosen to be his owner because I did give Dancer what he needed for 11 years and at the end of his life I proved that I was a loyal friend. I made that same commitment to Shadow when we adopted him. To protect him, care for him, and love him as a loyal friend. Life and death is unpredictable but it's better to live and love then to never know love.
Shadow still sits upon my shoulder in spirit and I think of him every day. In the end I gave him the last gift I could and he found his forever home with Dancer right here in my heart.