To Sophie,

I adopted you when you already lived a long 13 years, older than me - I was 12 at the time. You have a loving owner who gave you to me because she was getting too old to take care of you. I was ecstatic as my mother gave away my previous dog.

We never had good luck with pets, and I am sad to say you continued that path. There is so much regret I hold when we owned you. We put minimum effort into your care even though you were the best behaved and sweetest dog. My mom didn’t see you as anything but an animal, meanwhile I just didn’t know any better.

You were hungry and I wasn’t thinking. I gave you all those cookies because I loved seeing you eat happily. Then, when you passed suddenly… it was traumatizing. And when they said it was stomach failure, it took a long time to process but I understood. It was my fault.

I’m 23 years old now. I think about you still so often, how little you were in my life yet how you were one of the biggest pieces of guilt and regret I hold. You didn’t deserve to pass like that. There’s so many things I wish I could have done instead - I wish I could have given you more years, the best years, with what I know now, with who I am now. I still love you so so much and I can’t stop thinking about you and all the love you had for me despite what happened and how I was.

I’m so sorry Sophie. I miss you so much everyday and I can’t help but break down at the thought of you, innocent you, who didn’t deserve what happened to her. I can only hope you’re living the best life over the rainbow bridge and getting all you deserve, all I couldn’t give.

I wish you could forgive me, I wish I could see you again. I know if you were human you would never and you would hate me. But that’s what makes it even harder to cope: you’re not human. You don’t hate. You don’t betray, backstab. All you knew how to do was love, and that’s what you did until the end.

I love you so much Sophie. I’m sorry for everything. You’ll forever be a part of my life and everything I hold. Please let me forgive myself. I’ll live happily for you.