I am married living with my husband in his home country, Istanbul Turkey! I arrived here about a year ago all the way from South Africa. After a long 8 months together still trying to conceive, I thought that I was getting too lonely, as my husband worked late and I was alone at home, and we decided that we were going to adopt a kitten. Istanbul is a city filled with different types of cats that roam around empty pavements and I'd had great love for cats and desired to have one with me to spend my lonely nights with...

My husband came to me oneday with the news that he happened to know a friend with a pregnant female and had offered us one of her kittens. After she had given birth we were notified this and had to wait but never waited long enough.. in less than a month my husband had went to fetch my kitten. he had trouble picking one so he called me and asked me wich one I prefer and said to him light coloured and playful.

After not even 5 minutes he'd arrived in my doorway with a cardboard box holding a loudly meawing helpless kitten after he had released her she had addapted to me in less than a minute she'd already came to me, layin on my chest in such a short time, She was a calico with gorgeous blue eyes. I'd named her Peri which means Fairy in Turkish. SHE WAS PURRFECT! (tears appearing)

My alone time spent at home had improved drastically after receiving my baby, she'd kept me busy and entertained the whole night it took her about a week to respond to her name. We loved each other deeply! She really disliked being left alone and always slept with her head laid down on my chest at night. All those hours it was just me and her. Whenever I left the house I had made a big effort to hurry so I could quickly return to my baby and we'd lay together! She ate well and was well trained she knew from her second day how to use the sand tray.

That traumatic day hapenned just yesterday early hours of the morning. I own a bed that has a storage on the bottom and opens up. I had went to fetch something to cover myself as I wanted to pray. so I opened up the bed. Whenever I'd open my bed to take something from underneath she'd always climb underneath and I'd grab her out before I closed it again. This time I failed to see her climbing into there with the mistakened thought that she was in the living room sleeping on my couch.

I then headed to wash myself before praying after that headed to pray but noticed that she wasn't there where I'd expected her to be. I then turned to search for her but could not find her, I called her name repeatedly and even made noises with her bowl, still no answer! She couln't have ran outside because the doors and all windows were shut and we lived two floors up so it would be impossible for her to jump down. Then I'd realised that I'd opened up the bed and suddenly had that idea that she'd jumped into it. On my way to check for her my heart started pounding, I could feel there was something wrong, why wasn't she meawing to be let out like before when I'd mistakenly closed the bed on her??? I got to the room and headed to open the bed, expecting her to jump out from underneath. I'd seen no sign of her when suddenly my eyes had caught up on something that looked like her lying dead still but the room light was off with only the bathroom light on, just outside my room, which made it hard for me to detect if it was really her but I could see her calico fur. First thing I said to myeself was please dont let that be her... tell me she's sleeping... I then noticed a bad smell then attempted to gently move her but... NO SIGN. I then headed for the light then looked down on her and saw all the undigested fluid from her body pouring out! I knew it, she was gone... I headed to throw her helpless little body out, that was the hardest thing for me ever to do! I then realised that, not like before, the bed had accidently been closed on her neck, strangling her to death!

As guilty and greatly upset as I am today I happened to keep asking how can she even attempt going under there without even notifying me? How could I be so STUPID by not even seeing her there or just checking to see if she wasn't under there before closinng the bed again. I was supposed to switch on the blady light while doing this then it would never had happened and that Peri would still be here with me today! But I realised that during that time, the angel of death was in the room to come and fetch her that moment right there was her time to go! God had called her that very moment and all that had happened WAS MEANT TO HAPPEN! It was her time to go.

Back then I had always thought about her becoming a gorgeous big grown cat and having kittens of her own... How I promised to be right there for her if that was to happen and now all those days are not meant to come. She was so young! Why did she have to go so early? I had so much planned for her! but now her days of existence are gone... Yesterday, as my first day alone again without her was the hardest day I'd ever had to face! I cried all day non stop. I was alone in that house and everywhere I looked reminded me of her. I was in no mood to do anything! If I'd go on the internet my mind would then recall the time she came to sit on my lap while I was using my laptop, I didn't want to do anything at all! I couldn't eat nor sleep I was extremely depressed and missing her soo much! All that I look forward to right now is the day I see her again! :-( How I miss that gorgeous baby that I only had for about 2 months which felt like forever!

I just hope that soon that wound in my heart will be healed and I'd feel better again as I realise that I have to let go as not even the tears or anything gonna bring her back to me! I plan on getting a new kitten light coloured and not lazy again but dont wanna rush into things as yet, even once my new baby comes, Peri will always be remembered, greatly missed and loved forever I posted all pictures and videos of her on my facebook. If I could just bring back that one day just to love and kiss her and hold her head on my chest like it used to be and tell her how terribly sorry I am and how much I love and miss her, I WOULD! Today I feel a little bit better as it is only my 2nd day without her. All my tears are finished I did eventually stop crying. Im staying at my husband's aunty's house for a few days as a great attempt just to get out of that house not to be repeatedly reminded of her and driven crazy! I am doing a little bit well my eyes are not swollen anymore and after 2 days of no sleep I guess I will be able to sleep tonight. As far as I know only time will tell, all I have to do now is just be STRONG! I miss and love you Peri so much! Goob-bye my angel!
XxXx.