Funeral Oration for CAESAR
a Giant Schnauzer
by Pam Green , © 2017
(with a little help from Shakespeare)
Friends, humans, vet students, lend me your ears :
I come to bury Caesar and to praise him.
The good deeds that dogs do live after them;
The mischiefs are interred with their bones;
So let it be with Caesar !
The noble Karl hath told you that Caesar could be stubborn ;
If so , it were a Schnauzer attribute.
Here under leave of Michael and of Karl,
Come I to speak in Caesar's funeral.
He was their friend, faithful and just to them.
If Karl has said he was assertive,
Assertion is a Schnauzer attribute.
He hath brought divers mischiefs to their home,
With look of innocence and upturned eyes ;
Did this in Caesar seem contrition?
We all did see that on Thanksgiving Day
They thrice did offer him some turkey meat,
Which he did not refuse, a good nutrition.
When they did study late, Caesar hath slept,
Rolled on his back, not in submission.
They loved him fourteen years, not without cause ;
And cause they have indeed to mourn him now !
Enjoyment, thou art dead with this dear beast,
And sorrow is in season. Bear with me;
My heart is in the coffin there with Caesar,
And I must pause till it return to me.
If you have tears, prepare to shed them now.
For Karl as we well know was Caesar's angel;
And Michael likewise Caesar's angel too;
Judge, O you gods, how Caesar loved them !
And well they loved him back, as was his due.
So in his time of need, they did not fail him,
But gave him peace with mercy and with grace.
I come not, friends, to steal away your hearts:
I am no orator, our Caesar's praise to sing;
For I have neither wit, nor words, nor worth,
Action, nor utterance, nor the power of speech,
To stir men's blood: I only speak right on;
I tell you that which you yourselves do know;
Here was a Caesar ! There comes not such another.
This was the noblest Schnauzer of them all !
His life was gentle, and the elements
So mixed in him that Nature might stand up
And say to all the world "This was a dog !"