If I could I would write the most beautiful poem for Tasha, Dallas, & all the others before them. Today is Tasha's 13th b-day. I want her to know that without her & the others before her, I am not sure where I would be today. I believe God sent all of them. I grew up in a very abusive, unhappy home. I had no socialazation so I didn't know how to interact with people. I think the only thing that got me thru my childhood was the animals God managed to send my way. I was a lonely, sad, frightened little girl. The animals brought me comfort. They were my only friends since I wasn't allowed to socialize with family or friends. I didn't know at the time but they were being sent to me for a reason. As I reached the adult years I was still so lonely & depressed. I couldn't understand why I was born if I was to be alone & sad. I didn't like being around people, they made me uncomfortable. I felt everyone was so much better than me. Love,laughter,& safety were not things I ever knew. As an adult I was angry, hateful, & had a very short fuse. I ran away with anyone who would take me away from home as a teenager. All I found was more abuse,pain,& a feeling of being alone in the world. I was looking for Love & acceptance although I didn't know it at the time. I was trying to fill a void in my life. I only had rage. I didn't know compassion or kindness. I didn't know forgiveness. Only so much anger & pain. I got married, not for Love, but to get out of my house. It didn't take away the terrible feelings inside. I was so unhappy. All this time the only comfort I got was from my animal companions God sent to me. I realized I had this termendous love for animals. All of them helped although I didn't know why they were in my life at the time. But Tasha came along & was with me almost 11 years. She Loved me so much. As I look back I see they all did. I didn't know how to be loved. They all had a part in showing me I was worthy of being Loved. They then tought me to let myself be Loved. one by one they all had a part in bringing out the best in me. Making me who I am today. They showed me how much Love I had to give. How much compassion I had inside me. They showed me I was a very kind person. They showed me humor & laughter. I didn't know this was the purpose they had in my life untill I lost Tasha. I lost her on 5/25/2004 I felt such a loss & so much sorrow. I sank into a deep depression thinking I could never Love again. I felt like I was alone once again. A few months after I lost Tasha, a sick little puppy came into my life. I really didn't want a puppy. I didn't think I could love another dog. I brought her home. I loved her but found myself comparing her to Tasha & not loving her for her. 2/9/2005 A very sick dog named Dallas came my way. She was only in my life a few months before I lost her but she opened my eyes to remind me of what all the others before her showed me. The compassion & Love for animals & people that was given me was not to be wasted. I was given a gift from God & it took the animals to bring it out in me. I still have that puppy today. She will be 2 5/26/06 She was born the day after I lost Tasha. I think she was sent for a reason also. I think the date she was born has to do with the reason she was sent to me. Dallas showed me I could still Love. In fact I have enough Love to give any animal that God sends my way. Today, I am a happy, healthy, adult. I know how to love & let myself be Loved. Both animals & people. I am still shy & sort of uncomfortable around crowds but am so much better. It took the Love & compassion of animals to show me what I was ment to be. I still need a lot of work but there are so many animals that need Love out there. I am better at talking to people & even have a couple of friends. I still perfer the company of animals & the outdoors. I am able to keep a job now & am very happy working at a animal hospital. I then come home to my 2 dogs, 2 cats, 1 bird & am always looking for ways to speak for the animals that need a voice to defend them. I lost Dallas 6/30/2005 But not before she woke me to remind me of what all the others tought me. Without them I don't know where I would be today. Perhaps in jail or in the streets. But more than likely, I would have end up in another abusive relationship. I thank God for sending them my way. I thank every last one of them from the dog down to the gerbil & the gold fish. All of them made me the woman I am today. I Love you all & can't wait to be with you again. I hope you see it wasn't for nothing. Tasha & Dallas, I Love you so much. Thank you for finally opening my eyes. I am sorry it took so many animals before I finally opened what I really am. But here I am. Thank you all. For your unconditional Love & all the years of comfort & kindness & compassion. Because of you I live. Most of all, Thank you God. You knew what I needed & took care of it.

Some of you may think this is strange or a waste of space. But there may be some of you out there that are where I was all those years ago. Perhaps there are animals in your life that God sent to you. perhaps they are trying to show you something. They sure showed me once I learned to watch & lisisten. Thanks to all of you that take the time to read this long letter in honor of Tasha's 13th birthday. I needed to give this to her, Dallas, & all the others & this was the day to do it. To all my babies that have gone before me, I will try to live by the example you have set for me. I will try to live by faith that we will be together again never to part.

Love Always,

Mommy.