Initially Grainia was the 'dog person' but I was eventually converted and I thank God that I was for had I not been, I would never have experienced the life enrichment that these precious creatures offer.
Back in August 2009 we decided that our Yorkshire Terrier, Sadie, needed a companion and so Grainia and our daughter, Stacey, searched the internet. They located a breeder with a recent litter who lived reasonably close and arranged to visit a few days later. On arrival they instantly fell in love with a tiny black ball of fluff and paid a deposit on the spot. She was too young at that stage to be separated from her mother and so Grainia arranged to collect her when we returned from holiday in early September. The holiday came and went (not quickly enough for Grainia and Stacey) and the next day they set off to collect her as previously arranged.
On arrival the breeder expressed a reluctance to sell. He was concerned that her early development was not as it should have been; she was tiny in stature and demonstrated signs that only an experienced breeder would recognise and interpret as worrying. He suggested that Grainia might like to select a different puppy instead but Grainia was insistent; the concern for the health of the little creature only made Grainia more determined. She called and asked for my opinion and I am ashamed to say I told her to drive away but thankfully she chose to ignore my advice and pressed the breeder. After some thought he graciously agreed - he even returned Grainia's deposit and refused to take any money stating that if she was prepared to care for the little creature and ensure she received whatever medical treatment she needed in the future, then he would be happy to let her go to a good home. It is important to mention that she had seen a vet whilst we were on holiday but he had been unable to make a diagnosis. The conclusion at that time was that she was simply fragile and would need lots of tender loving care. We shall always be grateful to the breeder for his selfless gesture; we looked his number up this evening before sharing this story and thanked him from the bottom of our hearts. It was a very emotional phone call; after a few moments he recalled the circumstances I have just described and thanked us for calling. I have never met him but sense he is a good man. Grainia and I owe him a huge debt of gratitude.
So, that is how Pebbles came into our lives in September 2009. Grainia and Stacey returned home, parked on the driveway and got out of the car carrying a tiny bundle of black fur wrapped in a blanket!
From the minute she joined our family she made an immediate impact. Sadie accepted her from the very outset, as did our cat, Molly. Looking back we honestly believe they both sensed that Pebbles was ill, that her time with us would be short and they welcomed her without hesitation. Grainia and Stacey slept downstairs with Pebbles for the first few weeks and fed her by hand. It seems odd now when I think about it because she wasn't showing signs of illness at that stage, she was simply tiny and frail and vulnerable. During the first few months her appetitie was poor but she did eat, she was fully mobile and she settled well into our home. She immediately won the affections of both our son, Ryan, and myself and within a matter of weeks the whole family routine revolved around her.
Grainia treated Pebbles like a precious baby daughter and the bond that developed between them was astonishing to observe. She took her to the vet's for regular weight checks, cooked her steak and chicken every day and fed her by hand, wrapped her up and carried her inside her coat when she took Sadie for walks (Pebbles did not like to walk). She slept on Grainia's pillow in our bed each night and became an integral part of the family. It is important to stress that she was not 'spoilt' and she always made you feel that she was grateful and appreciative; I can't think of a better way of expressing this point - when she held your gaze with her bright brown eyes there was a sense that she understood your motivation and intentions. I'm not suggesting that we woke each morning and thought 'this could be our last day with Pebbles' because we didn't. There was an overwhelming sense of fragility about her however, and very often this made you cherish the most ordinary of days.
Although we shared only 17 months of our lives with Pebbles we have many happy memories. We never went on any walks in the countryside or on a beach together, nor did we walk along a river bank or cross a meadow. Pebbles always preferred to be carried; we assumed that her low energy levels were due to her size but now we realise it was the effects of the toxins slowly poisoning her body as the condition took hold. That said, she absolutely loved the garden and used to race around it, sometimes chasing Sadie, sometimes being chased. One of our most endearing memories was her love of sunshine; she would often lie on the lawn and warm herself in the smallest shaft of sunlight. It was as though her fragile body drew great strength from the sun's rays. Other memories include her ability to bound up the stairs one at a time (each step must have seemed like a mountain) and her inability to descend them (despite us attempting to teach her on several occasions); play-fighting with Molly (rolling around on the floor with her front paws wrapped around Molly's neck); her love of bacon on Saturday mornings when we treated ourselves to a cooked breakfast; her habit of disappearing under the decking in the garden and emerging several heart-stopping moments later with soil covering her nose; teasing us with a chew or treat in her mouth and wanting to be chased around the kitchen and my personal favourite habit of lying on her back with her tail wagging like a sweeper inviting you to tickle her belly. A very, very special little girl who we all simply adored.
As the months went by we couldn't understand why we were having difficulty house training Pebbles. She frequently urinated around the house and because of her inability to walk down the stairs, or even to jump off a bed or chair (she had to be lifted) there were many 'accidents'. Grainia was always very patient and tolerant but I am ashamed to say that I was less so, and I am certain Pebbles picked up on my disapproval through the tone of my voice. This is one of my big regrets and I hope she realised that I didn't mean any harm towards her. In response to her accidents we restricted her access around the house a little - nothing drastic, we just confined her to the kitchen at nightime. It was large with a tiled floor and was therefore easier to clean the next morning. And we made sure that Sadie slept with her each night so she wasn't alone. They didn't like the new arrangement at first but came to accept it in time and during the day she had the run of the house as usual.
The closing chapter of Pebble's short life began sometime in September/October last year. She was walking in the house when suddenly and withour warning she fell over; it was almost a comedy fall - her legs didn't give way, she simply keeled over to her left and fell. Grainia and I witnessed it, ran to her aid, picked her up and raced her to the vet's. We had got the opening times confused and on arrival found it to be closed. By this time she appeared fine and so we took her home, gently put her on the floor and watched as she walked off, lay down on a rug in front of the fire and settled down like she always did. We shrugged it off and thought nothing more of it.
We moved to a new house in November and didn't sell our old house until the beginning of February so during the intervening 3 months Pebbles and Sadie spent time at both. We don't recall any specific episodes of concern until the end of January when Pebbles had moved to our new home. One day she had been outside briefly in the garden with Grainia and when she came inside she was salivating and disorientated, and unsteady on her feet. We have moved to a cottage in the countryside which borders farmland and our immediate thought was that she had ingested poison, possibly fertiliser blown in off the fields and we took her straight to the vet's where she remained for 2 nights on a drip and was stabilised. Blood samples were analysed and as a consequence liver shunt was diagnosed. We had never heard of the condition, the vet explained the implications and we took Pebbles home on 27th January. Although we didn't know it then our precious baby girl would be taken from us in 27 days time.
It seemed relatively straight forward at the time; a low protein diet, regular medication (Lactulose solution) and plenty of tender loving care. In essence a managable condition; I have lived with Type 1 diabetes for 20 years and we hoped Pebbles could look forward to a near normal life expectancy. She didn't care much for the low protein food or the medication administered daily by syringe but her health appeared to be stabilised. Then, on Tuesday night she demonstrated the now familiar symptoms (head pressing, circling, excessive salivation, disorientation) and we rushed her to the vet. As previously, she was kept in and we fully expected her to be stabilised for a night or two and then back with us before the weekend. Grainia called the vet early the next morning to see how she was and that's when we first realised there was something gravely wrong. Pebbles had not responded to the drip and was fitting, and we were to call back at 1 pm. The next few hours were extremely difficult and we prayed Pebbles would respond and pull through. 24 hours earlier Pebbles had appeared absolutely fine and both Grainia and I could not believe that she was now gravely ill. We called Stacey and Ryan and met them outside the vet's at 1 pm. We did not go inside but first called for an update to be told that there was no change to Pebbles' condition and that we should give her a little while longer. By now the realisation had dawned that Pebbles might not pull through and whilst we were in the process of deciding our next move, the vet called to tell us that Pebbles had passed away.
Within 15 minutes of her passing Grainia, Ryan, Stacey, Ruby (our 7-month old grandaughter) and myself were standing over her lifeless body. I know it is not necessary to describe the out-pouring of raw grief that followed as we all stood in that small room and cried over our precious baby girl.
The past 5 days have been difficult ones. We are blessed to run our own business and therefore we have been able to take time out to grieve. We have taken comfort from various websites, but 'Rainbow Bridge' has been an immense help. In the darkest moments it has been the thought of seeing Pebbles race towards us - her fragile body cured of liver shunt - scooping her up in one hand as we used to do and carrying her across the Bridge to spend the rest of our lives together, never again to be separated, that has kept us going. We no longer fear death because it is a necessary event to enable us to be reunited with our precious baby girl.
As I glance towards Pebbles and the candle that has now been flickering for almost 11 hours, my heart is truely broken. One of the sights Grainia and I were so looking forward to at our new home this year was Pebbles racing around the garden and basking in the summer sun. Why could she not have been spared for just a few more months? The vigil that we are keeping throughout the night as we pray for her will all too soon be over and then we shall stand together at noon as a family weeping once again whilst her tiny body is cremated. Please, say a prayer and ask God to keep her safe until we are reunited, (the ceremony is at 12 noon GMT on Monday 28th February). It doesn't matter how brief, please just ask God to keep her safe.
We have plans to celebrate our memories of Pebbles but they are mostly mixed up at the moment. A stone garden memorial in the sunniest spot in the garden surrounded by rainbow tulips which we shall plant in the autumn, favourite photographs framed and mounted around the house, a discreet tattoo on the wrist in honour of her memory, a donation to the vet who treated her and perhaps some voluntary work at a local dogs home or a link via our company website to the RSPCA charity with a regular annual donation. Pebbles has reignited my Faith, and whilst it has only been 5 days since she passed I cannot think of a more fitting tribute.
As the clock approaches midnight and the candle flickers, we should end now and continue our vigil over Pebbles and pray that God gives us the strength to get through the night and tomorrow. We are grateful to you for taking the time to read our story, and grateful too to Rainbows Bridge for providing the opportunity to share it with you. Most of all we are grateful to our beautiful precious baby girl, Pebbles. Thank you 'Tiny Dancer' for your unconditional love and devotion, thank you 'Tinker Tinker' for the memories you have left with us which we shall cherish for the rest of our lives here on Earth. We are sorry if we ever let you down or if we didn't pick up on your illness early enough, or if there were things we could have done to make your life better. We hope you know how much you mean to us all and how terribly we shall miss you. Please be happy Pebbles and wait for Grainia, Ryan, Stacey and me at the Bridge. We shall be back for you one day, we promise with all our hearts.
Sam x
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