My dearestSewda or 'Stinky Boo Boo' as I used to call you!! I brought you home as an 8 week old kitten in July 1997, with your sister Pupa and we bonded instantly. You were cheeky, mischievous, intuitive, very smart, very loving and so gentle.

We had eleven and a half happy years together, you would follow me everywhere, meaowing at me along the way...talking to me almost!! You would sleep on my head or snuggled next to me under the duvet with your head nuzzled under my chin and your motor boat purr reving sweetly in my ear. You'd scoff everything in sight If I let you!! If I'd cry, you would come and kiss me, you'd sit on the bathroom cabinet whilst I was in the shower, waiting for me to get out and sometimes you'd almost get in the shower with me. You loved the rain and would come and lie on my chest when you were soaking wet!
When I'd drive my car into the drive, you would run meaowing, to meet me, jump up on the roof and give me kisses when I got out the car. You'd sit on my suitcase when I was going to Gozo and almost ask me not to go and on my return, you'd bolt through the cat flap,running straight for me, meaowing excitedly, welcoming me home. You were my girl, my baby...my little soulmate, a bond so strong, so pure. Everyone fell in love with you and your gentle happiness.You were one of those special cats that only come along once or twice in a lifetime....

When you were diagnosed with Colangiohepatitis in May of this year, you began a course of medication, 5 different tablets per day. Not once did you struggle, raise your paw or try to bite when I had to give these to you... you trusted me completely and I loved you completely. You had such a gentle happiness. You enjured bloods test and liver scans and weekly check up at the vets, where everyone fell in love with your little character.

You seemed to recover slightly and remain stable but suffered two relapses in September and early October. after further anti-biotics you perked up again. But sadly...you were not to recover, for on the morning of Sunday 12th October 2008, you were quiet, subdued, not wanted your dinner. With every pore of my being, I was willing you to recover but I had to face the truth. Suddenly, you got up, looked into my eyes and let out a long meaow. To my horror, you began to haemorrhage, I was distraught. I drove to the emergency vet in a haze of tears, trying to comfort you along the way. You sat in your box purring when we arrived and I was comforting you gently, I was distraught. The vet listened to your heart and you continued to purr, despite your pain my precious one, but as he lifted you to stand up, your little legs gave way and your little front paws buckled under you....I will never get that picture out of my mind. The vet rushed you out of the room to give you oxygen, but came back to apologise and tell me that you'd gone. I collapsed on the floor in an ocean of tears. "No not my baby girl I sobbed", my whole being unable to accept what had just happened. "But I wasn't with her" I said to the vet, "I wasn't with her when she died" " She'll think I left her right at the end"

I stood and cradled her, kissed her, stroked her and took in her smell....Why my cat? I asked myself, she was only just eleven. Cats are supposed to live a long life? I was angry at God for not allowing my baby to get well again, angry at myself for not spotting her illness before, the pain was and is unbearable. I stayed with her for over an hour, numb with shock, disbelief, pain. Why Sewda? My little girl put up a brave fight for five months, but in the end her little body could take no more and she lost her battle for life.

I had my baby individually cremated and brought her home to be with me always. It was two weeks yesterday that my Sewda went to Rainbow Bridge...my heart still aches with pain and my life, my house, my home feels so empty. My cat Pupa misses her sister and I just hope with all my heart and soul that Sewda knows that I didn't intentionally leave her at the end, I so wish I could have held her in my arms at that moment. Please forgive me my stinky Boo Boo... mama will love you for eternity

I know my baby is at peace now and she's running over and along Rainbow Bridge...and one day we will be reunited again, forever and will cross Rainbow Bridge together.....

This is for you my Sewda...from your sister Pupa, your nana Christine and nanu Johny...and most of all from me, your mama, all our love... Be happy my angel..xxxxxxxxx

GOODBYE LITTLE ANGEL

The saddest word I've ever heard is why.
Why was your future cut so short?
Why did you have to fly?
I still have the aching, broken heart that cherished you with love.
Why did God choose to take you to his nursery up above?
I'll never know the reason why he could not let you stay.
I only hope my pain will heal and one day go away.
I'm sure one day we'll meet again in heaven up above.
I'll wrap my arms around you and smother you with love.
I'll write your name across the sky so everyone can see,
That my little angel is eternally with me....xxxxxx