Miss Punk! Good morning, your highness! I miss you more now than ever. It's been a week since I took you to that place, and though I know it had to be done, I can't forgive myself. They said they would test you and vaccinate you and spay you, even though I'm not working now. Said they'd do it for a reasonable price, too. So, I took my Christmas money and made an appointment and made sure we were there on time. I had to catch you first, and on the previous eve, made sure you were in for the night with a good meal and a litterpan too. You spent the night with us...woke up pleasantly surprised that you found warmth on our bed. I guess outdoor cats adapt rapidly to our human offerings, even if they've had to raise litters of kittens outside with no home or food or a warm bed. I'd watched you try and raise two litters of kittens in the past year from afar. Don't know what happened to the first litter...never saw a trace. The second litter you had under my porch while we were on vacation. We'd left last seeing you as a very pregnant cat, and came home to tiny mews
in the weeds. You were such a proud mama! Caught them a squirrel, several mousies, and even birds and rats which you shared with me when I started feeding you! Obviously, even though you had a "home" your owners weren't taking care of you. If they loved you, they'd spay you, or at least keep you in so you wouldn't be preganant. So, I took your kittens on a cold rainy night, just before it turned into the 20's. I felt badly, but knew it was for the best. I contacted the people at the shelter, and they advised me of prices for their programs. You were upset, and searched for them for days before you came back. When you did, I explained to you night after night the plan.... They'd fix you, test and vaccinate you, worming and flea control.....all the basics your "owners" should have done, even for an outdoor cat. On the day I took you, you looked absolutley shocked that I could betray you by putting you in that carrier. Such an indignity for an outdoor cat! Yet, you tolerated the long ride there...and the long wait at the clinic. I kept telling you that life would be better after they took care of you. And that I'd pick you up tommorow night. I left then. They said they'd call if your test came up positive, so I wouldn't have to come back. I didn't sleep well that night. Kept thinking how nice and warm you were last night on our bed. Probably the first warm night you'd ever had in your life. I looked forward to more. After your fixed and vaccinated, you could come and go as you please. In the am., I woke to sunshine! Such a rare event for January in N.E. Ohio. It would be a good day! Checked the voice mail...no messages. Another plus! Six more hours, Punky. We'll come get you. Fixed your little recovery room up. Had lunch, went to pick up the car from service. Came home, Daddy checked the voice mail again. He came into the room and said "Punky didn't make it". I was in shock. I knew deep down....outdoor cats never have a chance. Unless they're cared for. And you hadn't been. They said on the message that you'd tested positive for feline AIDS. And were put down according to clinic policy for their stray program. I light a candle for you every night. My ritual for all my own pets when they pass. I lit one for your kittens. I'll light one for "Bubba", the tom who sired your kittens at least once that I know of. He's not as trusting as you were, or maybe just not as hungry since he doesn't have kittens. I still must try and catch him, since likely you got FIV from him. He's a big beefy beautiful cat, no signs of illness. But, like you, unless tested, will only go on to spread or be at risk for disease unless taken care of. I talk to him when he comes around, and try to explain. He seems to accept as he listens. Wait for me, Punk! Send your calmness to Bubby. He'll come soon, too! Love you............