11 years ago I saw an add for a 9 month old Cocker Spaniel. The mom was diagnosed with cancer and could no longer care for him. Somehow, WE were chosen to be his new family. He had no training at all. I had to teach him not to eat the newpaper, don't pee in the house, stop chasing the kitty, don't steal my blouse. His freckled nose would pop up from under a blanket and that was the sign he wanted to play. As a single mom, I spent my time not dating and partying, but staying at home and raising my daughter. And so KC and I would sit together each night after putting my girl to sleep, eating popcorn as we watched TV. At bed time, he would jump up on my bed and lay down next to me, head on a pillow, just like a person would. He forgot he was a dog, hahahaha. I would fall asleep every night for 11 years with him laying next to me, my arm around him and petting him. I have been thru much trauma in my life and often felt alone. And yet KC was there every day, loving me no matter what I did or felt. HE would lick my tears when I cried, he would lay next to me as I had nightmares, he would alert me before having an anxiety attack by nudging my hand. He would listen to me as I poured out my secrets. He loved me no matter what I would say. All he knew is that we were best friends. We went for car rides together, we went for walks together, I sat and watched him chase the geese at the forest preserve and squirrels in grandma's yard. KC was my best friend that enjoyed life right along with me. Three years ago I noticed he was struggling with the stairs and the vet told me his discs were deteriorating in his lower spine. And that HE would tell me when he was in too much pain to go on. But he stayed spunking and happy, running around like a puppy...only struggling with stairs. Then last year the groomer found weird lumps on both of his sides and so back to the vet we went. "I am sorry, but it's cancer and its advanced. Make him comfortable, he will tell you when his time has come." I cried for days and yet my little fur ball still ran around with a happy face, playing his games, stealing my cookies, loving on his "baby" and sleeping next to me every night. And then a week ago, over night, he grew old. He lost all control of his bladder and bowels. I had to make the hardest decision of my life. I had to let him rest. And so I said goodbye to my best friend on Saturday, August 14, 2010. I have not slept much since he left, my bed feels to empty. I have not found any joy since then, my heart is too heavy. My home is quiet now, no barking at the cats, no stealing my cookies, no barking at the doorbell, or barking at the squirrels. I miss my boy something fierce and do not know how to DO life without him. There is noone to walk anymore. Noone to fill the water bowl for or the food dish. I gave away his leftover food. I hid away his foodbowl. I collapsed his crate and put it in storage. I had his favorite baby cremated with him and kept the second favorite for me. I put his collar on it and sleep with it every night. I miss my baby boy more than anything. Some day we will be together again.... but when will my heart heal from such a loss? I miss my boy more than anything.