August 13 was a Monday night. There were raccoons in the back yard and my little twelve pound dachshund was jumping on the sliding glass door. I didn't see it happen but my guess is he slipped and hurt his back. He was yelping very loud and wouldn't let my wife nor I touch him. We were shouting at each other, the dog was hurt, yelping and I was trying to get Donna to look up the puppy emergency room online so we could go. It was very dramatic and heart wrenching. She went upstairs looked up the number and address. I scooped up the dog and wouldn't let him down. Constantly telling him that he would be okay and that he was a good boy. We get to the emergency animal clinic, go inside and Chase was shaking in my arms (he knew where he was and didn't like it).

They took X-rays came in and the young female veterinarian came back in and said that he should see a neurologist for he would need surgery.... maybe not today but eventually. I asked what was the average cost and she said seven to ten thousand dollars. She gave him a sedative and an anti-inflammatory and sent us on our way.

I took of work the next day and took Chase to his vet for a second opinion. Doctor Scott looked at him and the X-rays and said that the way he was walking was a good sign. I was hopeful as I don't have seven to ten grand. I kept him caged for most of the day, letting him out to go potty. I built him a ramp so he wouldn't have to jump up the one step to get in the house. I had also bought little stair for pets so that he could get up and down the couch.

That night I had him on the couch with me watching Hell's kitchen and went to the garage. I came back and he had jumped off the couch. I scolded him and picked him up and sat back down on the couch and gave him love. It was just about 9:00 and I went upstairs to turn on the AC in the bedroom. I came back downstairs and Chase was at the bottom of stairs looking up at me. I scolded him again and went to pick him up. He was twisted in a strange way and when I went to pick him up he started yelping. I knew. I knew. I got on my knees and was pounding the floor pleading with God and shouting No. The tears and pain were torrent and I felt helpless. Chase was not yelping anymore but he couldn't walk.

I texted my wife and asked when she would be home from school. I got no reply. I picked up Chase and put him in his crate, went downstairs got on the computer and was calling the emergency hospital to see if I could get a stronger pain medicine for him. My wife came home when I was on the phone and she sat down and asked me what was wrong. I burst into bigger tears and told her Chase was hurt.

She went upstairs and started crying. And told me that we had to take him in and put him down.

We went to the hospital and I held him the whole time. We asked if there was anything that they could do or if they kept him over night if he would get better. She told us for $800 we can keep him over night, but he won't get better. I said let's put him down then. My wife insisted that they give him a sedative as he had been in pain for three hours and the vet did.

I went outside with Chase and started shouting at God. I was really angry and hurt that God would let my Chase boy die on my birthday.

The whole time he wasn't whining, yelping or crying. He was craning his neck and drooling but he stood strong and kept his nose way up. The vet said that it was because he KNEW that we were hurt about him being hurt and he didn't want us to be hurt.

I held Chase in my arms and my wife put her hand on him and the whole time we were telling him that we loved him and that he was a good boy... I felt his last heart beat and he went limp in my arms.

We wept profusely. We grieved beyond what words can convey.

The next few days were very hard for us both crying for 45 minutes at a time and just wanting to die at the loss of our boy. I wanted to drink badly and truly came really close to going out and giving up my eleven plus years of sobriety. I should have taken him with me upstairs when I went to turn on the AC. I should not have left him alone and I was blaming myself... still do a bit, because I should have carried him with me.

Saturday, my wife, Donna, made up a song on the piano for Chase. I have a recording studio and I recorded her song.

It was Saturday night and fireworks were shooting up in the sky. I was in my studio working on mastering the song my wife wrote for my dog Chase, I don't care too much about fireworks and certainly wasn't feeling festive. I had no intention of doing anything but putting together a memorial for my Chase. Now the good part of the story.
The fireworks seemed to have started about 8:45 or so. Again, I had no intention of moving. When Donna and I would talk to Chase it was always Mama and Da. I'm concentrating on the song, an excited thought or little voice inside my head said "Ma, Da go look out the window." I thought to myself, "I'm really tired". But I got up and went upstairs. Donna was asleep on the couch. Neither one of us had gotten much sleep that week. I know she was tired at 6:00. I almost didn't wake her up. "Baby... Baby, sorry to wake you", I said. I told her about the little excited thought or voice and what it said. She got up with no reservation and we stood together at the sliding glass window. The grand finally ended at 9:05. It was quite a site, as our house is only a few blocks from the village hall where they shoot off the fireworks. However, it really didn't interest me much at all.

Donna starts making a bowl of cereal and started by getting fresh blueberries out of the fridge and picking out the less desirable ones. She poured her cereal, put the sugar on and poured the milk. It took about eight minutes or so. She starts eating her cereal and we start talking, me by the sliding glass door.

Out of the blue she says "Rainbow Bridge"... AT ONCE, (I mean as soon as she said it), a big RED, GREEN and White firework goes off in the sky, the really big ones that we saw during the grand finally. We just looked at each other in amazement and talked about the coincidence. I looked at my watch and it was 9:15, ten minutes after the grand finally was over. She finished off her cereal and we talk for another five minutes about why she said that. She told me that the grand finally reminded her of all the colors of the rainbow. She looks at me and said "Chase is at Rainbow Bridge"... BAM a Big Red one popped in the sky. I got very excited for it was 9:25. That is twenty minutes after the grand finally occurred. We both started to cry and said that it was a sign.

Donna went back into the living room and I stayed in the kitchen. We talk for about ten minutes about the likely hood of fireworks going off at a display after the grand finally and I'm talking to Chase. She is telling me "Don't push it, because you might not get an answer". Right before she said that I was saying out loud... (Loud enough for her to hear me), I said "Chase, are you happy you died in Da's arms?" I mean TO THE SECOND that I was finished... BOOM!, another firework popped in the sky and it was the huge green ball of light kind. Tears flowing from my face I ran into the living room to tell Donna and she knew (because she heard it). I looked at the clock and it was 9:35. Thirty minutes after the grand finally and that was the last one.

We sat on the couch and we both couldn't believe it. The death grip that grief had on the both of us was gone. That feeling of pain that continues to rip through your soul and your empty mind to the point that you don't want to do anything but there is truly nothing to do but put your head in your hands and scream at the top of your lungs while crying... it was gone and there was a stillness in my soul.

A few points are pertinent to this story. First off when I was given the Rainbow Bridge site I wasn't too keen on the idea of another social network taking up the time in my life. I don't really get on facebook much anymore and don't have a lot of time.
• I did log on because Donna and I wanted to honor him in some way.

• When Donna and Chase were waiting for me to get home she would tell Chase "Go look out the window, see if Da is coming home", he knew what "Go look out the window" meant.

He knew my car, or me... he would start yippin and yappin not barking and he would runnnn around the house. When I came in the door he would be at the top of the stairs and I would kneel down on the next to the last step and cover him with kisses while he gave me kisses.

Anyway, back to the points,
• When Donna and I spoke to him about each other it was always like "Give Mama kisses", not "Give Ma kisses". The thought or excited little voice I thought or heard said "Ma, Da, go look out the window", it wasn't "Da go look out the window" and it wasn't "Mama, Da, go look out the window". If it were my thinking, I would think that it would be "Da, Mama, go look out the window". I came close to brushing it off because I didn't really want to look at fireworks and had stuff to do.

• I didn't want to wake up Donna because our sleep was so sporadic.
• It's not like there were other fireworks popping in the sky or on the ground in between the ones that we saw after the finally. Donna had even said after the three popped the first time she said "Rainbow Bridge", "Steve, perhaps that wasn't the finally." I told her it was, and it was.
• I'm 52 and in the firework displays that I've seen, not that I go every year, I've NEVER seen other fireworks at the same location linger and intermittently shoot off for 30 minutes after the finally.
• If I were to have gone back out drinking I would have stayed drunk in order to not feel the pain of grief that I was feeling and I would not have been there to see this.
• I've tried to discredit this experience by thinking "Go look out the window." didn't mean the sliding glass door in back. To Chase it would be the same "I can see through it but I can't walk through it... hmm window!" Or brush it off by thinking perhaps it was just coincidental timing, or by thinking that it was just a freaky chance thingy. I cannot discredit this because this happened to us.

Our hearts are still empty because we still miss him and we both still cry... but we are hanging on to this Rainbow Bridge Firework story as a sign from God or Chase, or as my Sponsor calls it coincidental timing, whatever anyone wants to call it, that's fine... this happened to us.

Perhaps God knew that little Chasie was not going to live long and he gave him to Donna and I so that he would get an overabundance of love in the time he had. We both feel blessed to have Loved Chase Digger Sanderson every day of his life and we told him every day. There were very few mornings that I was running late where I snuck out of the house without waking him up (maybe six in 2 years 8 months). The other mornings he woke up by me grabbing one blanket that covered his Saint Bernard crate, laying that blanket down on the couch, letting him out of his cage at the same time I pulled the other blanket which covered the huge crate, throwing that over the top of him and smothering him with love, kisses and telling him how proud I was of him and telling him "Love you Chase. Love you Boy" over and over again. He had a little crate inside the corner of the big one that had six blankets in it, one was mine from Macy'. Every night Mama and I would give him kisses and tell him "Almost time for nigh nigh Chase", he would lay down close one eye and pretend to be sleeping, lol... of course he got to stay up a few minutes more from that one. After I would cover his crate and turn out the light I would say loudly "Love you Chase, Love you Boy and Mama would always chime in "Love you Chase". He hurt his back on Monday. Perhaps God gave me one more day with Chase for my Birthday instead of taking him the day before my birthday.

I'm embarrassed by telling this firework story and probably won't visit much because of that fact. Folks... I am blessed that, though the sadness is still there, that killer pain has been replaced by gratitude. I would bet my bottom dollar that there are other stories like ours on this site because it is Rainbow Bridge.

My wife wanted to keep this story between us, I could not.