Dear Sassy. It has been 10 weeks now. You went to the bridge on Thursday, April 28, 2011. I am so sorry I was not there to say a long lasting goodbye and farewell to you. Please do not think for a moment I did not want to. I just knew I could not let you go, and Dr. H said it was for your best good that we had to let you go. I knew I would not be able to surrender you to Dr. H when it was time. I would have been selfish in that moment. My head and heart would have not been working together well in that moment. You were so courageous to hide that fact--you were sick. Maybe you were not hiding. Maybe I was just too caught up with school to see. I wish you could have spoken words to wake me up to tell me how much you were suffering. I could see you were not eating and you were losing weight. I could see you limping around...Why did I not check things out with you and the vet? I was so dumb--with all my schooling that took time away from you...the one friend I really had in this world...and I did not see you were hurting. I remember you as a baby...4 weeks old. You were so little and delicate. You grew to be my only true, trusted best friend for nearly 16 years. I remember your first year here. You grew that first year by leaps and bounds chasing Papa's tale. He hated that, but you were so little you did not understand that. You learned to hiss through his example. I remember you trying climb our stairs at the house on D Ave--the only house you knew in your years. You needed help every time, as a baby, and then at the end (or a lot of patience--both, perhaps!). You were so little. You poo-ed on my bed (and pee-ed) for a while, when you came to us...but you soon learned the art of the litter box. You had trouble getting up to places so you could look out windows or get on to my bed. Someone always was there to help you, old and young. I will NEVER forget you. I still hear your little faint meow in my ear. I see your face everywhere. My heart yearns for you, so much. I know you are at the bridge now, with Papa BJ, his sis, Bear, Critters, and Big Papa PooBear. They went to the bridge before you. They are there. I know you found them, or maybe they found you.
Sure, now we have Simba...he is not you! It is not the same. I miss you like you could not believe...you are not on my pillow. You don't come out in the morn to help me eat my breakfast. You don't sit at the footstool and stare at me like I am the queen of your heart...when really you were the queen of mine. How my heart breaks for you, always. It still hurts so much. It always will. Some days I think I am okay. Others--I go crazy, still, because of the pain in my heart, the loneliness. Just know I miss you so much. Just know that one day we will be together at the bridge. Watch over me from the bridge, okay? I need your help. My last term at school was horrible...not fun for me. You know that already, where you. You guided me through it to do well enough to be done in June. What happens now, I know you will be looking down dutifully seeing that things will be okay. They will be soon...right now we just need to heal from losing you. Yet I know you are at peace. I know you knew the end was near. I know you would not have wanted to suffer. I could not let you suffer. Just know I did what I did out of love, not out of hate. My heart broke into 10 million pieces when Steve told me what Dr. H said about your last days. I now made Bobby Goldsboro's song, "Honey, I miss you!" our song. It is the only one that summed up how I really feel right now. It makes me cry so often to think you are not here. Some moments I am okay...and others  I just can hardly bear you not being around... Until we meet at the bridge...LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND FOREVER.
Theresa, your "Mom", best friends forever!