My first very special baby boy who was so small as a puppy, we actually named him Booger. He could fit in the palm of your hand. I remember as a pup his nose was a real light tan color, but as he became an adult it turned black. Of course as he hit his 10th year, I noticed it had started fading back to a lighter color. His eyes also looked kinda faraway, like he couldn't see as well as he once could. He loved me with his whole life's being and I loved him just as much. Every morning when I would leave to go to work, he would just scream as I shut the door. It would tear me up so bad that it left an awful feeling with me all day, and I couldn't wait to get home every day to see him again. When I would leave sometimes I would listen and he actually sounded like he was screaming my name, TYNA, TYNA. He loved to go riding and I had this Cougar 1986 model. He would sit over the back seat up where the back windshield would be. When I would stop at a redlight I would see people in my rearview mirror just a looking trying to figure out if that was a real dog or one of those fake dogs with the moving heads. Ha! Ha! Every day when I would return from work he always greeting me with enthusiatic love and lots of kisses. He was alway so calm and contented, as long as I was right beside him. He always slept with me with his back up against my back both of us sleeping on our sides away from each other but still touching; as if he could feel if I slipped away from him in the middle of the night. The last week of his life he had started panting every once in awhile, which is something he hardly ever does unless he is in the hot sun. I thought, no, I didn't want to think so I just ignored it. A few days later He had went in the kitchen to lay down in front of the refrigerator because it blowed out heat. I noticed it had got a little too quiet so I called out to him but he didn't come. That had never happened before so I went in the kitchen and there he was laying at the back door. I reached down to pick him up. He was cold but I could still feel his soul lingering as if he was waiting on me to say my goodbyes. That was the hardest day of my life. I had never suffered a loss that hurt like that or have since. My brother and nephew buried him in my back yard wrapped in one of my shirts inside a shoe box with a pic of me beside him. I have since moved and mourn over the loss of not being able to visit him. I think sometime I will go back and knock on the door and ask the people living there if I can go in their back yard and dig him up.I would then have him cremated and his ashes put in a beautiful wood box with his pic on it and his name engraved on the front. One day when I get my nerve up I'm gonna do it. I have to.