Yesterday, September 17, 2005, the life of a member of our family ended on earth and began on the other side ... at Rainbow Bridge. Shea and I sobbed just leaving the driveway, with me in back on the floor of the van with Baylee, holding her. Mom said she came out and stood in her driveway to wave, but Shea was looking straight ahead fighting back tears so he could see to drive, and I had my head buried with Baylees as we backed out of the driveway. A few minutes in the lobby of Alta Mesa Animal Hospital, taking care of the financial end of things, then we were called to a room. The process of letting go began. The tears flowed for both of us as we pet our friend, our special companion who was in so much pain. In came the doctor and assistant to explain the process, answer our questions, and allay our fears, while providing comfort and reassurance. After a brief session with the doctor we were informed that the traditional route yields a mere 10 seconds more of life and she would collapse in our arms. We may see her gasp? We may see her tremor and shake? Definitely not the choice for us. We wanted a more calm and relaxed approach with time to say goodbye.

The sedative was administered and we as well as the chemicals worked to calm her. She was standing on all fours at first, while Shea and I held her between us on the floor. Her system was slowing down and she was getting tired now. No more cancer Baylee, no more pain baby girl.

She labored to breathe even more than she has the last couple night here at home. We thought we were going to lose her then actually even before the final drug was given. Her back legs begin to shake, and shes trying to hold herself up, but unable to as the calming effects of the sedative did their work. Shea scooped her up in his arms, and put her up on the table and we held her, talked to her, and told her what a good girl she is... thats its okay to go, we love her. We always will.

She was becoming more relaxed now, her tongue falling out of her mouth and her bladder emptying on the fabric bed pad theyd brought in for us for her to lay upon. We both stroked her fur, gently kissed her ears, and began to sob as we realized with each passing minute that we were closer to saying goodbye for the final time.

Noise of other dogs outside the room alerted Baylee and she attempted to get up, struggling to gain control of her muscles which were completely relaxed now and not obeying her attempts to stand. We tell her its okay Baylee girl, relax, you dont have to work hard anymore. You still want to do your job and protect us, dont you? Still on alert, arent you baby? You dont have to anymore. Relax sweetheart. We love you.

The doctor and assistant come in now and her struggle intensifies. Shes nervous now, and our hearts are aching as we watch her struggle to get up, legs stiffened in an attempt to use any strength she has left to get up and go. All four of us are helping her relax and lay comfortably. She returns her head and legs to the pad finally, and calms once more. Were holding her again and looking into her eyes telling her its okay. I muster the words, goodbye Baylee girl and Shea sobs we love you so much baby girl. The final anesthetic is administered and Im repeating the words now goodbye Baylee girl, we love you Baylee girl ... Baylees body relaxes completely now and she prepares to leave this world. In just seconds, the doctor tells us that the heartbeat is faint now, then once again he listens and with his head bowed he pronounces her heart beats no more. Sobbing and tearful we stroke her and say our last goodbyes. She no longer feels pain. The cancer cant live now either.

She is free.

Run to the bridge Baylee girl. We will see you again, sweet girl.

http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html