August 15th 2009
Casey, Its been over two weeks since you have been gone. I miss you more everyday and each day I ask God to tell me why you had to suffer so much those last few days. This I will never understand. I know you forgive the Vet that lost you the Vet I trusted to protect you and keep you safe; because that's the kind of dog you were, a forgiving kind and gentle soul. But I have not been able to forgive him because it tears my heart apart to know you laid dying in the rain storms for 3 days before you were found. I can't begin to imagine your fear because you were so afraid of the rain and thunder but you were much to sick and weak to walk. Channel 4 ran a news story about you and your photo was on the news. Mommy was praying that somewhere someone had seen you and somehow I would get you back safe. The animal control found you near death and you were taken to a very kind Vet who tried for two days to revive you, you were in so much pain so he gave you good medicine to help your pain. After 2 days, you were not getting better so he felt the best most humane thing he could do was to put you to sleep to take you from your pain. That was late Tuesday evening the same day the news story came out but no one saw it until you were gone, and then they found me because of the story. I was contacted and told of your fate. I only find comfort in knowing your last 2 days on earth, you were being loved and your pain was being taken care of. The Vet who put you to sleep told me what a good boy you were, he said he knew how much you were suffering and never, not one time did you try to bite him. You never would bite anyone, you were so kind and gentle. He told me he rubbed your ears and told you you were a good boy as he put you to rest forever. I know if they would have seen your story on the news before they put you to sleep, they would have called me and I could and would have been there with you, holding you, loving you and you would have felt safe in my arms. Casey I am so very sorry I was not there for you, I hope you can forgive me and I pray you know how very much I loved you.
Maggie and Boo Boo miss you so much, they are so confused. I talk about you a lot and somehow I think they understand. You remember how Maggie barks at every animal she sees on TV and we can't watch any shows with animals because Maggie never stops barking. Well, the night you were on TV we were laying in bed watching the story and Maggie saw you, she ran to the end of my bed and started to bark, suddenly, she stopped barking her ears went back and she began to whimper. I know she knew it was you and she was so confused. How sad we all are without you Mr. Casey.
I had a wonderful 8 years with you. Do you remember the day we rescued you. You were probably the most pitiful dog at the shelter. You were so skinny, dirty, and your eyes told a story of what you had been through. We took you home and you immediately loved us all, you showed your love with the kindness that we always saw in your eyes. It didn't take long to fatten you up, you loved to eat and you loved your chew bones and yes, you loved all the people food. Chicken and ice cream were the two foods you loved most of all. I made sure you always had plenty. You would get so excited about your morning breakfast, you would wake me up every morning before 5 a.m. so I would get your breakfast ready. I never minded, I loved you so much, and I loved making you happy.
I miss you Casey and there is not a minute of the day when I am not thinking about you. If people were more like dogs there could be heaven on earth.
There was something about you Casey, you had a depth about you that showed in your eyes. You seemed to understand more than most dogs; you had incredible peace in your heart that showed through your eyes. You followed me everywhere, I must have tripped over you a hundred times a day. I miss not having you here, sitting next to me while I am on the computer, sitting in the kitchen while I made dinner, you never got in my bed unless it was storming out and then you'd jump right up. I never minded, in fact I loved having you next to me. You had your doggy bed in my room and you would scratch it and paw at it every night to get it just right. I remember when I bought you a new bed just a few months before you died. You hated the new bed, and every night you would push it out of the way and sleep on the floor. I felt so sorry for you so I went to the store where I bought your other bed and found one just like your old bed. Yes, you were so Happy, life was good again.
Casey, you were loved beyond the words I write, I don't think I could ever explain in words how much I loved you and how much I miss you.
I have to believe that there is a place that you have gone and I must believe that when my time comes we will be together again. If I didn't believe that I could never go on without you.
before the snow and after the rain. I am really going to miss you this fall Casey. Remember how in the fall you would roll in all the dead grass and your fur would be covered in it and then the chase was on to get it off of you before you could get in to the house. I am really going to miss those days buddy. There are so many little things I remember about you and I am so sad without you. I am so lonely without you, your were my protector and I felt safe alone at home when you were beside me. Even though you were the most gentle dog created, you would have never let anyone hurt me. Infact a big reason why you are gone, you stayed in the house with Ryan protecting him while the cops threw tear gas at you. You stayed inside breating that stuff for hours and you were not able to recover. There was no way you were going to leave Ryan so in a way Casey you are a hero. You died trying to save the boy you grew up with the boy you loved so much. I think this is why Ryan doesn't visit you, I think he blames himself but it wasn't his fault. I don't want to feel so angry but inside I do, anger at the cops and anger at the vet who lost you. My only comfort is knowing that one day they will have to face what they did. I am going to sign the lease today and we will be moving but we will be bringing you with us. There are too many bad memories here Casey and in order to be free I have to go. I love you more than life and I would have given mine to save yours. I love you Mr. Casey now and forever. I'll write again tonight. Until then my best friend, my buddy, my Casey, remember; I will always love you...Mommy

August 31st, 2009 Good morning Casey, I am at work but I wanted to tell you how much I love you and how much I miss you. They say time heals all wounds but mine run deep Casey I am out of room, I need to check on this.

September 5th 2009 Good morning my angel. It has been awhile since I have been able to write because I wrote so much I ran out of room. They gave me more room. I listened to you song everyday and I think about you everyday. Millie and Cora are her visiting for a few days. Millie is acting funny I know she realizes you are not here. We all love you Casey and I love you most of all. I haven't seen a deer all week. I sure hope you send me one next week. Casey, I have to go feed Sophie downtown but I promise I will be back today. Until then my lover, remember; I will always love you.....Mommy
September 5, 2009 Hi baby I am back and I've come to say good night. I love you so very much and you are missed more than I can tell you in these words. I truely hope you are with God, youthful, happy, and healthy. I have to believe one day we will be together again. Heaven must be really big because there are so many fur babies waiting for their mommmy's and daddy's. I love you Mr. Casey. You are the best dog in the world and there will never be another like you. They broke the mold when God made you. I hope you feel my love for you. Please send me a deer Casey. I will be looking, trusting , and believing in you. I will write in the mroning until then my angel dog, remember; I will always love you....Mommy

September 6, 2009 Good morning my angel dog. Oh Casey I am so sad I accidentaly hit a squril that ran in front of my car today. Of course you probably already know that don't you. You were there to welcome him to heaven and please Casey tell him I am so very sorry. You know me I won't kill an ant. I value all life and I am sick that I killed the squril. He didn't plan to die today so please shower him with love. I miss you Casey and I just can't seem to stop crying for you. I will be back tonight my love, until then remember; I will always love you....Mommy

September 6, 2009 I just wanted to say goodnight and let you know I am thinking of you, I love and miss you more than ever. I love you my angle dog, so very much. I'll write in the morning, until then remember; I will alwyas love you...Mommy

September 7th, 2009 Good morning my angle dog. I love you and miss you more today than ever. I love you Mr. Casey and I know one day we will be together again and maybe you can tell me about your final moments. I pray you were not scared. I feel so quilty Casey, I wanted to be with you I just didn't know where to find you. Please forgive me. I have to keep my note short so I don't run out of room. I'll visit tonight, until then remember; I will always love you...Mommy.

September 9, 2009 Ho Casey I love you and I have been thinking about you all day. I miss you beyond what you could imagine. Hey Cas, did the squril make it to heaven? I hope you are giving him real Casey love like only you can. I hate this but I have to keep our notes short because we will run out of room. I am going to listen to your song for awhile. Good night my angle dog. I'll visit tomorrow util then. Remember, I will always love you...Mommy

9-12-09 Good morning my angel dog. I love you so much and I still can't think about you without tears. I miss you so much. We went to a new vet on Thursday for check up and shots. He was very nice. You would have liked him. It wasn't the same without you Mr.Casey. We are moving in 2 weeks, A part og me feels like I am leaving you behind but I am not, you will be with us always. There are too many bad memories here, it is time we go. I will write tonight. Until then please remeber; I will always love you...Mommy

09-13-09 Good morning my angel dog. I do believe you have your wings and I believe you are watching out for me, Boo and Mags. We love you Mr. Casey and that will never change. There isn't a minute of the day when I am not thinking of you. I can't seem to ever get you off my mind. That's OK because I love thinking of you. I just wish I could think of you without crying. Until we are together again, I will tell you evryday how much I love you. I''ll write tomorrow. Until then remember; I will always love you...Mommy It is getting cold so I am sending you a blanket.
9-14-2009 Hi Casey, my big buddy. Did you have a fun day today. If you did send me a sign. I'll know for sure its you. Mommy isn't feeling to good tonight, I am going to watch football as soon as I am done writing to you. The Bronco's won yesterday Mr. Casey. W don't kow how but they somehow pulled it off with 23 seconds left. I miss not having you here for the games. I had to tear up our Cutler Jerseys but I am going to buy a Royl jersey for you and hang it up every week. I love you Casey and I miss you so much. I can't move past this intense grief. I am sure you want me to be happy, I will try for you my angel dog. I better go as I am going to run out of words quickly. I hope they give me more space. I'll write tomorrow, until then remember; I will always love you...Mommy

9-15-09 Hi Baby, My angle boy, I love you and miss you so much. I don't think I will ever move past the pain of losing you. O Gof Cas, I miss you and I would do anything to have you back. Boo and Mags miss you too. I know they are still looking for you. When I mention your name they tilt their heads. Its so cute but so sad. I have to go to bed I am still not feeling well but I wanted to tell you how much I love you. BIGGER than the moon and sky. I love you to the moon and back. I will write tomorrow. Until then remember; I will always love you...Mommy

09-16-09 Hey baby, its been a long day but I wanted to tell you I love you and until tomorrow remember; I will always love you...Mommy

09-19-09 Good morning baby, I love you. I haven't been feeling so good which is why I haven't been writing the last couple of days. We are getting ready to move next week babe, but don't you worry,you are coming with us. I miss you more every day Casey. I love you to the moon and back. I have a lot to do to get ready for the move, I will be back in the morning. Until then my angel dog, remember; I will always love you...Mommy

09-20-09 Good morning Casey, I just read your entire story and I can't stop crying. Casey I miss you so much and you are always with me. Day and Night, my thoughts are of you. I think you visit at night because Maggie and Boo bark everynight and they either look in the hall or jump off the bed and run in the living room. I hope it is you becuase I want you to visit, anytime you want, we will be waiting for you. Oh God Casey I wish you were here, making this move with us. I miss you and Ryan so much. Ryan can't live here because of those cops and what they did and how they messed up our lives forever. I will never understand this Casey and why you had to suffer and die because you would have never left Ryan alone. You were so brave Casey and I know you have a special place in heaven for dogs that are hero's when they are on earth. You Casey are a hero and Ryan was so lucky to have you with him while those cops tried to kill him. This is all so wrong and it feels so wrong. I miss you Mr. Casey. The Bronco's play today and I know you will be watching the game with us. Bronco games were so fun for you. You got to lay around eatting and hanging out with everyone you loved. Me, Ryan, Boo, and Maggie. Yep, me and Ryan yelled alot. You got use to it. In fact you came to expect it. I don't yell no more, its way too loney without you and Ryan. I have to go to the store, I will come back tonight. Until then remember; I will always love you...Mommy

09-21-09 Hi Casey, We all LOVE you. You are the best dog in the world and in heaven. I'll bet everyone loves you and you have a lot of friends. We miss yo Mr. Casey more than any words can ever explain. I think about you constantly. I do believe we will one day be together again, and I long for that day Casey. I love and miss you so much. I am quicly running out of words and I pray the rainbow bridge people give me more space. I'll pay if I need to because I need to talk to you everyday until I cross the bridge to be with you. I will write again in the morning. Until then, remember, I will always love you...Mommy I am sending you a blanket it is very cold tonight.

09-22-09 Hi Casey, Do you like the ham bone I left for you? I am leaving the blanket because it is going to snow tonight. Is is always warm in heaven? I am glad you are above the clouds, no more storms to scare you. I sure miss you my buddy. I can't get you off my mind. Today was a hard day without you. I know you want me to be happy and not sad all of the time. I am trying Casey but I miss you so much it hurts all the way through my heart. I love you and I want you to always feel my love. I was thinking about going to one of those people who say they can talk to dogs who have crossed over to the rainbow bridge. As soon as I find one, I will believe them if they tell me things about you that only I know. Maybe if they are for real, I will find confort if I am told you are happy and playing. I don't know Casey I am just looking for a way to know for sure that you are with God. I love you Casey and I'll be back to visit tomorrow. Let me know in a dream if there is something you want me to send you and I will. Until tomorrow, remeber, I will always love you...Mommy

9-27-09 Hi Casey, I love you. We are finally moved so I am back.I sure miss you Mr. Casy and I love you more. Hey Casey, please send me a sign. I know I am weak but I just need to know you are OK. If you send a sign I'll start believing and stop asking. I miss you buddy, I just wish I could think of you withou tears. The Broncos play today, sure wish you were here. Oh God Casey I miss you so much. There is never enough time and I was not ready to say good bye. I love you Casey. I am almost ou of words, I am asking for more space so I can write to you. I'll be back later, Unti then remember, I will always love you...Mommy.
October 10, 2009 Casey I have been waiting for more space, I LOVE you