11 years, July 26, 1996, you left me..
I rode you last night, I held you so tight, I felt your warmth,
I felt you heart beat, why, I can't explain, you decided to
come back to me................
But there you were in my dream,

You were so beautiful,
my chestnut angel,
She was a stiking 16 hand Thorougbed,
breed for speed,
she meant everything to me...

Wow, can't believe it's been so long since I stroked your coat,
you soft fur always felt so warm,
you made al my dreams come true,
my innocense was lost the day of your final fate,
a choice a kid should never have to make,
At 20, I should have known, that unlike a child, I had grown,
and that the choices I would make, could result in a permanaent mistake,
I loved the boys, partying with friends, at the time I guess I didn't want that to end,
You were getting older, and always lame, and I just thought it would make things easy,
no more horse to have to feed, no more cold mornings turning out in the rain,

But My Dream.........
Breezy Meadows, Holliston, MA

There is a soft breeze that rustles the trees,
There are small, sweet smelling flowers that are growing between the tall pieces of grass
As I ride along a wide, moist, dirt road
I can see a rotted pine tree
The tree seems so high it could touch the white, puffy clouds above,
To my left I saw a burnt barn,
Ahead of me, a large maroon building which had once been used as a recreational hall stood
Weedy plants spiraled along the building resembling a long spider web
Tall, yellow dandelions covered the next one hundred feet ahead of me
A tall white flag post, which at one time, stood proudly, hanging the American flag, now tilted to the right with rust covering its base.
As I look further I notice a boulder wall,
Not more then three feet high over five hundred feet long, along the property,
Lovely pink and blue flowers enhance the bottom of the wall
We ride along the wall, towards the field
Deb, are you ready?
We let go!
And flow though the green
Around and around we go
Circles, figure eights, and laps, we flow
Gently I pull back, and slow we do
I hear her breath, quick gasps,
We slow down
We rest, and enjoy the view
It's so beautiful!
Let's go home
Though the forest we continue to stroll
I give her neck a quick pet,
And her ears flicker in recognition
I urge her with my mind.
We move on,
Faster and faster we go
The woods fly by us,
We're close to home now
The road approaches, we're almost there
On a long rein we go
In splendid bliss
Towards home

It seems like yesterday, my angel, that we were together,
I can feel you running through my veins,
You're a part of me,
You always will be...
11 years apart is way too long,
Knowing that in this lifetime, you'll always be gone,
Goodbye my baby, till we meet again,
And I promise you we'll be together until the end...
Through eternity, I'll be on your back,
Through the trails we will hack,
On a mountain covered in snow,
Or in a meadow, where the green grass grows,
Into a lake, we will wade,
Through all this time, my memories seem to fade,
I'm so scared to forget you,
You'll always be my sky filled with blue,
You were my first earthly pet gift,
My first complete responsibility in this lifetime,
And the feelings of deserting you are memorizing,
I loved the boys,
I loved getting high,
At the time, I never believed you'd die,
You're life I have taken,
And for this I have to suffer the consequences,
Throughout this life, I will always regret that July day,
My poor choice will last a lifetime, my real dismay,
God, I remember the times WE loved to run
We galloped towards the sun,
You were the best thing that ever happened to me,
My precious gift, your unsoundness was inevidable,
We nerved you, and a miracle happened,
That I'll never forget,
You were again given a real true life,
After ten years as a broodmare, without a rider, I was your mom,
I was so psyched...
I cried out, in extacy, I thought my angel was perfect again
But it didn't last long,
Only three years, too short,
You were meant to last a lifetime, Deb,
It still kills me, through the month of every July,
That date, brings it back all over again,

And you'd be proud Deb, I found "you" all over again,
A poor, crippled, soul, Hero, he was hurting!
I can't fix him, but I will always try,
He is meant for me,
I believe, and know, he is my destiny,
And no matter what struggles I encounter, I will always care for him,
The vet laughed at me when I bought you,
But minutes later, she understood, you were meant for me,
I made a bad mistake before, and I was so young,
Just a child, but know I'm an adult,
And I know what love means, I know what it means to take a life,
I'm Hero's angel; I can't take my mistake back,
But I can try; to be the person I wished I was that July day,
Please know, Deb, if I could do it all over again,
You'd be here, next to Hero, living life the way it should be,
Your retirement should have been granted, and when I say that you were no longer useful, I should have made other plans,
You deserved the best, my friend, you always will,
I miss you... and remember you today.