February 18th, 2013 is when my Tazma went to Rainbow Bridge. |
Tazma was a female cat Tabby domestic short hair with big beautiful eyes.
For 15 years Tazma gave nothing but love and joy. She was special in that area, not a boring Kitty.
When she was a Year old she loved to climb up on the side of a door jamb and with her claws, slide down real slow. Very funny to watch.
I bought her lots of cat toys but she would only play with rolled up paper balls.
Tazma was obtained at a Target store in 1997 in a box of other kitties being given away. I was on my way out after shopping with my daughter and we stopped and looked at the kitties. Tazma had these big beautiful eyes and pointy ears for her size. At six weeks old I brought her home where it seemed like yesterday.
Her first year of Christmas, I should have realized that a large tree with ornaments would have been a perrrrr-fect place for a kitten to play. She would knock down the ornaments and I almost had the tree fall when she climbed to the top. I anchored the tree to the wall and solve that problem.
We move from a house a few miles away when she was two years old and have lived there every since. I would watch her every day. When I came home from work we would play late at night since she liked to sleep in the day time.
In February 2004, I went in for a simple C-Spine surgery for a disk bulge. I woke up in recovery with no use of my arms or legs and pain beyond anything that can be explained. It took a year but I found out a blood clot went through my spinal cord and cause this temporary issue but caused a permanent set of nerve damage. I was taken from the hospital to an inpatient ward to learn how to use my arms, hands, and legs again. I then spent 3 1/2 years in 4 day a week outpatient therapy and during this time tore my left shoulder rotator cuff. I had surgery in 2006 for this. In 2008 I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid, Osteo arthritis and Fibromyalgia. I also had 3 more C-Spine surgeries over the years.
Since February 2004 I was taken out of the work force at age 50 and have been home every since on Social Security Disability. I hated life and was angry. I could not adjust to the 24/7 pain. The only thing I had going for me during the day was Tazma. She would sit in my lap and sleep with me at night giving kitty love to me as if to say "I'll take care of you daddy". I did have help at home with my daughters and wife, but I was alone most of the day and only Tazma kept my sanity.
Tazma had this way like some cats that do this cat walk with their front paws on my shoulder while purring and then laying down on my chest. In the later years I could not sleep in a regular bed from my back problems so I sleep on the couch recliner with Tazma on my lap or chest. 24/7 pain but 24/7 kitty love.
Later in the years I got a 8 week old Calico who is 5 years younger then Tazma. We named her Taffy.
4 1/2 years ago she got sick and was dehydrated. I took her to the Vet who did a full lab work up. He said her liver count was 4 times higher then it should be and put her on antibiotics. He said if she did not get well in a week, I should consider putting her to sleep. I was angry he said that. She did recover and made it these last 4 1/2 years.
She was an active cat and small for her size but enjoyed life. In August 2012 she was ill again and this time this new Vet found she had Hyperthyroidism and put her on medication for it. Her also put her on Denamarin for her liver and she had gotten much better, She also had to have sub containous fluids. I saw her xray and labs and this Vet got her liver well and back to normal.
In December 2012, Tazma developed a wheezing sound and I took her back in. This time her xray showed a fungi in her lungs and a possible tumor in her intestines. The Vet said she was not in distress nor pain and no reason to put her to sleep. He put her on Prednisone and after a few weeks her wheezing got a bit better. She did slow down on eating and was acting depressed but two Vets assured me she was not suffering.
On Sat 2/16/2013 I saw blood in her stool and called the Vet. They said bring it in to be tested. When I started to leave my home, I saw Tazma laying flat on the front window sill. I put her in her cage and took her with me to the Vet. Upon examination, the Vet said the Tumor had grown and all the signs pointed to her only having days to live. Again I refused to believe it but I again was assured she was not suffering and not to euthanize her yet. I was told to take her home for the weekend, continue the meds, and give her love and take pictures.
They might have thought she would not make it, but I refused again to still believe it. On Monday she was acting restless and depressed. She was dehydrated and I gave her the fluids. I have the Vet on the phone and while I was talking to him, Tazma gave out a screech that I never heard before. He heard it and she did it again. I wanted to get her to the Vet ASAP but by the time I got the cage in the other room, my Tazma had passed on. The Vet on the phone told me how to check her for vitals but after checking, her declared her deceased. My middle daughter was with me to help.
I never lost an animal before and it has taken my best friend and loving kitty away into heaven. My daughter and I put her into a nice plastic Rubbermaid box with her favorite blanket, toys, pictures, treats, etc. She was buried in my back yard with a beautiful eulogy.
I had this old book I got when 4 1/2 years ago I thought I was going to loose her. It is called "Saying goodbye to the pet you love". In it was a poem I recited over her grave called the Rainbow Bridge. I now am having the worse time grieving the loss of my friend of 15 years. I am 59 and have my other two cats but they do not show the love that Tazma did. I feel alone and depressed.
I ran into a friend today 2/25/2013 who ask if I ever heard of a web site called the Rainbow Bridge. I can not believe is the very poem I read that there was a web site to go to for this with the title of the poem. Almost as if Tazma directed it to me. So here I am tired, lonely, depressed, feeling guilty and angry and missing my little four leg friend. I go out in back and talk to her every morning and every night. I am hoping this web site will ease the pain and help me with the grieving process. I also hope to meet other people who have been through this and what I need to do to help get me through these hard times.
I hope and pray that I will see my Tazma someday in Heaven again. I will never understand why our pets are taking from us so early in life. I know maybe someday I might find another Like Tazma when I am ready, if I will ever be ready. But no pet can will ever replace my Tazma. May she rest in peace. Love daddy
Thank you Rainbow Bridge for giving me a place to come and express my feelings about the most loving cat who took care of me these last 9 years at home. My pain is getting worse and I need to end this letter. But I have over 8700 words left and I hope to fill in those gaps some day after I pay me yearly dues.
Feb 27th, 2013 Dear Tazma, after I joined Rainbow Bridge I had many new friends write beautiful letters and cards for Tazma and I. I miss you so much. I will continue to write more as time goes by. I love you so much and wish you were in my lap right now but you're probley playing with your new friends. Take care my little baby. Daddy loves you so much. Hugs and kisses Tazma. Love you so much, daddy
Mar 2, 2013 My dear Tazma. I hope you like the flowers I gave you. It has been 2 weeks since you slept on my lap. I cried last night because I woke in the middle of the night and thought you were on my lap. I really miss you so much but my new friends here are helping me cope. This is a wonderful place for you and I hope one day to play with you again. Every person and every animal are special. I will always love you. Daddy
March 3, 2013 Dear Tazma. I am almost finished with your personal resting spot. Flowers and bark have been added. I need to finish your name plaque with the color bronze. You also have a solar night light above you to light your way to Heaven. I already know you are in Heaven but it is there for when I need to talk to you and to light your way back when I am done. I don't know why, maybe it is too early, or that you are so loving, maybe being with me 15 years, that I still cry for you nightly. I hope one day to be with you again. I miss everything about you. My four legged child who loved everyone. I will be out tonight to chat with you. Your daddy forever.
March 4, 2013 My darling Tazma. More new friends keep writing in. I never new how many two legged friends we had. Another day and I am thinking of you. Tonight is my first Monday night Candle light Memorial for you and the other friends. I will be there and make this a special night. I have your picture, my lap top, and BIG BOX of tissues. I love and miss you so much my little baby girl. I can and never will forget the joy you have given me. I could never get that back unless one day I can join you at the end of the Bridge. I will be with you later tonight. Love you so much. Daddy
March 12, 2013 My baby Tazma, I had a bad night last night. I had a dream of you and I playing paper ball and then you wanted you treat. Today I was sitting at the kitchen table which I hardly do working on paperwork, and from the corner of my eye, I would have bet the house I saw you jump over the couch and towards my chair. It looked so real. I called for you but I could not find you, then I remembered you are in the back yard resting. I go in waves thinking about you daily. If and when the time ever comes where I would get another fur baby just like you, I know none could ever replace your antics and love the way you did. I find as a grown man I can't stop crying for you. I would give up everything to just have you back. I have met some very nice friends here at Rainbow Bridge. They all said beautiful things about you. I have seen their fur babies and read their stories and I find that I am crying for them too. I will never understand why little wonderful loving furry kids like you are only with us a short time. I should be grateful for the time I did have but I look back and where did 15 years go? I remember your first days after I got you. I remember so many things about you but I could not tell you what I had for breakfast. How silly. Well my precious Tazma, I will be out in the yard tonight as I am every night to talk to you. I hope your having fun with all the other beautiful fur babies at the Rainbow Bridge. I love you so much and miss you tons. Daddy
March 15, 2013 My dear baby Tazma, I am still struggling with you being gone. I wonder now if I could have done more for you. Maybe if I would have done an ultra sound you would be with me today. The Vet doctor said further testing could be done but if you have any of the 4 of 5 Fungi in your lungs, those have no cure and are fatal. If it was the one fungi that could be treated, then you would get better and to start you on that treatment of Amoxicellin and Prednisone as that would be the only chance you would have. I saw your breathing getting better. The wheezing slowed down but you looked sad from not feeling good. I did ask the Vet's and technicians if you were in any pain or distress and they all said no, just to take you home and enjoy you, love you, take pictures. They told me to call them on Monday Feb 18th to let them know how you were doing. The one Vet doctor said if the breathing would continue to be labored you would not get enough blood oxygen and if that was the case, you may have only days left. They said there was no reason to put you to sleep at this time. Two days later at 8:15 am on Feb 18th, you were on my lap and you looked so pretty with your big beautiful eyes and soft fur. But your breathing looked like is was not right and I called the Vet. You were next to me while I was talking to the Technician and, well I said it above how this ended. The Technician heard you and I felt so helpless trying to save you. I did everything I could and what the Tech said but you quietly laid on your side and I saw you gasp twice for air and then, no movement. This is why I feel the awful Guilt and I am troubled that if I had done more testing, maybe a different Vet, maybe anything different, you would have been with me today. I am so sorry that I tried and let you down. I hope you will forgive me and are living a pain free life at Rainbow Bridge. Tazma baby I miss you so, so much. What went wrong? I don't want to replace you because when I got you, they broke the mold. You are one of a kind. Doing things other kittens and cats I never have seen do. I miss those days. I miss every day. I remember the last 15 years day by day and so enjoyed your unconditional love you gave. Such a sweet loving little fur baby. I thought I saw you jump on the couch the other day. It was so real I thought I woke from a dream and you were hear all the time. Why are sweet loving little cuddly put here on earth for only a short time? I am so sad Tazma and you know I will be in the back yard everyday and every night to talk with you. I say good morning and say good night everyday. You are my little tiny tails and I hope you are happy, safe, and having a great time. One day I hope to be with you again. I love you sweetie. Your daddy.
March 25, 2013 Hi Tazma baby. The kids came by yesterday and we got pizza then came out back to visit with you. I hope you like the new Nectarine tree I planted over your area. I put the peach tree higher up and hopefully you will use your Angel dust to help the fruit grow big. I had you on my mind as I do everyday. Today I felt that replay of Feb 18th. I had that awful vision again of you passing away on my lap. I will never forget it. I have your pictures all over the house hanging up. You are so pretty and have the most beautiful eyes. I hope one day I can look into those eyes again and be reunited with you again. I have seen what appears to be you in the house and at times can hear you meow. Tomorrow I hope to have your name and dates on the headstone. I love you so much my dear little Tazma. Hugs and kisses...Daddy
March 28, 2013 Dear little Tazma. Today I finished your stone with your name on it. Last night I finished reading "saying good bye to the pet you love." I thought I was strong enough to handle the end of this book but I had many found memories all come back to me when I closed the book and I could not stop crying. I am so new to this grieving thing since you were my first to leave. The wonderful people here at Rainbow Bridge have been so supportive. I know the day will come when I can gain the strength to help someone here as I have been helped. Everybody has their special fur baby and all of them are cute and precious. I miss you so much my little TT. A nickname I gave you for Tazma Tails because you liked to chase your tail. I love you and hope you are pain free in that beautiful new place at Rainbow Bridge. Play with all the other fur babies until the day we meet up again. So much love you gave and so much love I give you. Take care me sweet Tazma. Love Daddy
April 8, 2013 Dearest Tazma, I hope you like your final resting place. I think I have finished working on it. I miss you so much. I got a wonderful email from Lisa and Millie and I hope you are with Millie having a great time on the other side of the Rainbow. No pain and no suffering. Just a happy set of fur babies. I am going to have a special candle light ceremony for you this week when the winds slow down. Part of me thinks you still in the house and I think I hear and see you at times. I want to wake from this dream and see you sitting on my lap waiting for a treat. A part of me knows the reality but refuses to accept it at this time. I remember so many fun filled happy days we had. I want those back and know it can not be. I am torn in two directions and want to believe you are here. But when I try to sleep at night, I don't have that warmth and cuddle you always gave me. Such a loving cat and best friend. You will be always in my heart. Love you always....Daddy
April 16, 2013 Hi my dear Tazma. I have bought some more self help books of pet grieving and how to take care of aging cats since you still have two sisters here. I needed more books to understand this grieving thing. This pain I have is getting worse, I don't know why the crying does not stop. Little triggers sets me off and i want you home but I realize that can not happen. I wish we could be together right now doing what we did playing paper ball. I loved that game. I hope you're being a good girl. My hopes is that your playing pain free with the other fur babies and you all are having fun with each other. Anyway my dear little baby, I wanted to check in with you and let you know I was thinking about you and had to say hi. I love you and hope you are being a good girl. I love you ever so much.
April 23, 2013. My dearest Tazma. I hope you are still in a wonderful place having fun and pain free forever. I am still struggling with grief but the anger is starting to subside. I could not go a day without crying still. I would give anything to have you back.
April 30, 2013.. Hi my beautiful Tazma. Lana the new kitty is starting to get adjusted to your sisters and the house. She is typical kitten as you were 15 + years ago. She does not do anything like you did when you were a baby. She is different. She has her own unique way of having fun and playing. She will never replace you of course but I decided to keep her after I talked to two people from Rainbow Bridge who showed me reasons why to keep her. Besides for helping a rescue kitty, I needed to feel what you would have wanted. I got the feeling you wanted me to enjoy that kitten behavior again as I did in you and you directed me to the right place called Pet Paws Adoption Agency. She came from the same place, "Big Al's Pet Store" where your sister Taffy came from 11 years ago. She is fun and shows kitten love and get along with your two sisters. As you know Taffy has a illness that we are hoping the antibiotic will take care of. Both of your sisters went into a deep depression when you left them for the Bridge. Runt has pulled out of her depression but I am not sure about Taffy since she still does not feel well. My new friend Brenda lost her Sassy the day before I lost you and then she lost Frosty a few weeks later. Two beautiful fur babies. This has to be so hard for her. We found many things in common and we think the three of you met each other at the end of the bridge and have all become friends. I hope you can look down on Taffy and heal her quick. Tazma sweetie, there is nothing I would not do to have you back. I sure hope I did not play a part in not doing enough for you to be with me today. I feel if I did, I should be punished, not you. Sweetie, I know you are in a different place with new friends and enjoying a fun, playful and pain free time. I love you so much and will let you guide me on all that has happen. Also please ask the other Angels to help Taffy get well soon. You are one of the best kitties ever to show me the ways and life of a fur baby. I am always in gratitude for you coming into my life. I hope to see you when the time comes. Take care my precious Tazma and know you are loved 24/7.... Daddy
May 16, 2013 My dearest Tazma, I am so sorry for not writing in 17 days. I have no excuse. I have been extra busy with little sleep. My dear baby I know you know what has happened at home. I want to say so much but it would not be appropriate here. Tazma honey,your sister Taffy is OK but she really misses you and she is so depressed. She is getting Sub containous fluids and Methamazole just like you did before you left us. Right now Tazma sweetie I have a huge hole in my heart. I have lost more then you baby and I am scared of losing Taffy to. Runt misses you and she looks out the back yard at where you are and I think she somehow is communicating with you. We have a new kitten named Lana added to the furbaby family. She is very active and funny just like you when you were a baby. I have so much to tell you dear Tazma but I would run out of space tonight if I told you everything. I wish so bad you could be here with me in my lap right now. You probably are playing with Sassy and Frosty and the rest of the babies and having so much fun without pain. I am praying I can be with you when the time comes. I want us to reunite again and be together forever. When it becomes time for your sisters, I hope we can be one happy family. Tazma, if I could trade places with you right now I would. I have a lot of physical pain from medical problems that you remember. Just getting worse. I don't know why I fear the unknown when a human passes on but I hope and pray it is true that there is a heaven that will bring us together again. You were so pretty growing up and remember so much we did and the funny things you would always do. I communicate with our friends and especially Brenda you has been a prayer warrior for us. She keeps us in her prayers along with her Sassy and Frosty and she has been a blessing more then I could ask for. She was your Angel in Waiting. Tazma, daddy's has not been sleeping well the past few weeks and I need to try and get some sleep tonight. It is 8:30 pm and time to give sister Taffy her medicine. Runt and Lana say Meow (hi). I am so sorry not writing sooner. I also thank Ginny for this place that I can come and talk to you. It is the most prettiest web site and Rainbow Bridge in the universe. Good night my sweet baby Tazma. I will write as often as I can. I wish everyday but right now I am having to spend time on something else that I wish I didn't.
May 21, 2013 My dearest Tazma, I wish you were here right now. I could used your never ending kitty love. I know your looking down at me and my friends and watching to see what is happening. I have Taffy ill and she may have Positive for FCV. If that is the case, all the medicine I am giving her and getting her to eat and drink looks like she might be joining you soon. I hope not but if it does happen, our friend Brenda and her Sassy and Frosty know how to be there to help. We kind of lean on each other for support. Runt is doing well, still a little heart broken always looking out the window in the back yard at you. Lana is like a teenager and has settled in with me but nothing in the world could ever take your place. I will never understand why our God put all the animals on earth and some prone to certain diseases and cats and dogs do not live nearly as long as us humans. I know I am not to question God but I wish He made you 4 legged furbabies live a lot longer. 15 years went by too quick. I hope to see you again one day and be together forever. I don't know why I can't break this cycle of Grief but it does not help to be ill and have problems at home. Tazma my dear, you are so pretty and I am looking at my favorite picture of you right now. I saw your picture at the Vet today also. They keep it up front because they all cared and love you. I will let you know about Taffy but maybe you can touch her heart and heal her Tazma. She is your sister and I love her too and want her healthy. I will write more later. Have fun with all your friends especially Sassy and Frosty. I love you sweetie and always will...Daddy
June 1, 2013, my dearest Tazma. I could use your love right now. You sister Taffy is still doing OK but she is so depressed and a second test for FCV came in positive. The Vet said she might be a carrier and that would be OK. He said only symptoms would revel if she has it or not and there are no symptoms at this time. Pray she hangs in there Tazma baby. I am going through a lot right now and with my own illness. What matters is where you are and that you are happy. I don't know what will happen the day I run out of my allotted words to write to you but be assured I will continue to write even if I need to open another Guardian area for you. I don't want any words removed. I guess I would need to talk to Ginny how that works. Tazma, I can never say enough about how you loved me unconditionally. I could sure use it now. Brenda's dad is not feeling well and we need to pray for him and Brenda. Hopefully you are playing with Sassy and Frosty. I need to go my baby cat but I have a empty spot in my heart for two reasons. If your looking down you will know why. I love you and look at your pictures every day. Take care my sweetie Tazma. Love you always..Daddy
June 18, 2013.. Hi Tazma. I hope you are well and having fun. I have so much to grieve for since I last wrote. I am sure you are looking down and see the turmoil I am going through. I don't ever want to lose you or your sisters. I hope there is a place when it comes time I can be with you. You made my life so beautiful with your sweet kitty love. I miss that. I don't have any love right now. This year has been so bad for me but as long as your OK that is all that matters. I miss you and love you so much. Say hi To Sassy and Frosty. I wish the God made us different. I wish He could have extended your life and all animals life's equal to us humans. I have no one here right now and don't know if I ever will again. I am alone and depressed. I only wish you the best. I take good care of your burial site daily in the back yard and hope one day we will be re united. Tazma, I miss you so very much. It was 4 months ago to the date you left me and I wish I left with you. I love you and hope you are happy. Take care sweet little girl. Love Daddy
July 14, 2013 My dear baby Tazma, I hope you are having a great time. I can't believe it has almost been 5 months. If your watching me, you know what is going on. I wish you had the power to correct this problem. I miss you so much more then ever now. You will always be in my heart and loved. Tazma sweetie, I wish you could come back to me now. I need your kitty love so much. Your sisters are well but they never show the love that you gave me. When I was in pain, you were there. I am all alone here even with your sisters but I always think about you. Tazma baby, take care and know I will never forgot you ever. Love daddy
July 20, 2013 My sweet Tazma. I am having such a hard time without you. I miss all the fun we had playing and just loving each other. I don't know what I am doing anymore. I stare at your pictures everyday and always hope I will see you again some day. I miss you and love you and I hope you are having a pain free life. I miss the days of kitty love and boy I can sure need them now. Take care sweet baby. Love daddy
Aug 10, 2013.. Hi baby cat. Hope the summer heat is not too hot for you. I think of you everyday and wish you were here to comfort me. Your kitty love was so special. Always put a smile on my face. I hope your having fun with the other fur babies. I needed to write as it is almost 6 months since we were together. I love you so much and need your special love down here. Hugs and kisses my sweet Tazma. Looking at you picture right now. Your so pretty. Take care. Love Daddy.
Aug 29, 2013, Dear Tazma, things are still OK here. I was thinking about you and wanted to check in and tell you how much I miss you. Over 6 months now and it seams like yesterday. I am so sorry if I did not do something to keep you here with me but the Vet doctor said you were sick and I still feel I could have done more. You gave me so much love and sat with me all the time. I miss all that so much. I miss you Tazma. I never thought I would feel this bad after 6 months but I have not come to terms with you being gone. I still imagine I hear and see you at times. I guess that's normal, but I still would rather have you back. You are the best kitty ever. I love you so much and I think about you all the time. I hope you are well and having fun. Keep looking down on me and hope things work out for the good. Love you always my dear Tazma baby...Daddy
Oct 1, 2013, Dear Tazma baby, I am so sorry I did not write in Sept. I hope you are having fun. I had your sisters Taffy and Lana at the Vet and they are doing well. Runt is OK to. It is hard to believe it has been over 7 months since we were last together. I wish you were here now. I miss your Kitty Love. I dream you are sitting on my lap purring and when I look down, I need to remember you are at Rainbow Bridge. I know one day we will be together again. You will always be my special baby. I feel sad without you but I know you are not in pain and I can feel your spirit around me. Have fun with the other fur babies. Love you so much. Daddy
Nov 1, 2013, Hi Tazma kitty. Halloween was yesterday and I remembered how you were never afraid of the people who came to the door. I was more afraid you would run out the door when I gave out candy. You were such a loving kitty to everyone. I am looking at your picture and wondering when you will jump in my lap. Silly to think that but that's how I feel. I miss you so much. I wish you were here right now. I really miss your love. I wanted to write you and let you know it will be hard going through the holidays without you this year. Please help me to be strong and know I will always love you and miss you. Take care my loving baby. I have not been as happy since you left. This is such a great place to come. I am so glad for Ginny and staff for letting all of us stay together. I love you so much. I will write again soon. Take care baby Tazma. Love daddy.
Nov 21, 2013, Dear Tazma, today is the first day we had a good rain. It is a pretty day and I remember you sitting in the window sill watching rain. We are going into winter and the weather is cooler. I think about you so much.It has been over 9 months ago since I last had you on my lap. Your being close to me and you at Rainbow Bridge must make you happy. There are these times, especially around all the holidays coming up, your first one with out me, that makes me sad you are not here. I will always love you and be with you some day. Your sisters keep me busy but I miss your special qualities. The unending love your give. Well my baby, I will go for now but I will be back. Please be a good girl and I pray I can get though the holidays without you. Happy Thanksgiving my little one. Love always...Daddy
Nov 28, 2013, Hi baby cat. Happy Thanksgiving. This is the first Thanksgiving without you. I gave Lana a piece of turkey in your name. I also hope you like the Christmas Wreath I put on your resting place. I hope to put Christmas lights around you too. Blessings to you my loving kitty. I will be back with more things to say but I wanted to tell you Happy Thanksgiving to you. I miss you begging for turkey. I love you so much sweetie. Take care. Daddy
Dec 9, 2013, Hi Sweet Tazma. My Birthday was yesterday but you were not here to celebrate it. I would trade all my Birthdays to have you back. I hope you like the Christmas Lights and Wreath I put around your resting place. You look so pretty at night all lit up in colors. This is my first Christmas without you. It is hard for me since we always had fun tearing the Christmas paper. I need to take the pictures I took and post them here. I will do that in the next day or so. Merry Christmas little tails. I love you and miss you so much. I guess the holidays bring the memories to the surface. I pray for you sweet kitty that we see each other one day. I will write back soon and post the new pictures. Ginny has been so nice answering all my questions. I never want to run out of room to write you. I love you so much. Happy holiday baby. Love Daddy.
Dec 30, 2013, Dear Tazma baby. I am soooo sorry I did not write on Christmas. I had so many things going on and my back is having so much pain. Still no excuse. I am writing today to say Merry Christmas. I read the Rainbow Bridge Poem to you and talked to you in the back yard on Christmas though, You are so missed right now. I want you to have a good New Year. Another first for both of us not being together. I will cry but tears of happiness as well as loss. I love you sweetie so much. In a day and a half, we will be in 2014. It seems like yesterday you were having you playful fun with me. I am starting to choke up right now because I am looking at your resting place with Christmas lights an look so pretty. You always were pretty. I will write again soon. I will need another page soon from Ginny as I am almost at the maximum characters. Anyway my sweet tails, be good and stay healthy. I love you so very much and the holidays don't make it easy. Your sisters are doing fine. I will write again soon. Love always and forever.. Daddy
Dec 31, 2013, Hi my little baby Tazma. It is New Years Eve and I wanted to say Happy New Years to you. This does not seem right but I miss you so much especially the holidays. Tomorrow is 2014. I can hardly understand that it has been almost 10 1/2 months since we last cuddled up. I really miss you Tazma and always will. Hope you are having fun with all the other fur babies at Rainbow Bridge. Take good care of yourself and know I think about you all the time. Love Daddy
Jan. 1, 2014, My dear Tazma. I want to wish you a Very Happy New Year (my first time without you in 15 + years. I miss you and I love you and that will never change...ever. My tears is that of sorrow and happiness. Sad you are not here but happy you are in a painless place at Rainbow Bridge. Take care my sweet and most loving 4 leg best fur baby friend and daddy. Love you honey. I took down your Xmas lights today but will probley put up a strand of just white lights to see your glow every night. Talk more soon. Love always, Daddy
Jan 27, 2014, Hi Tazma kitty. I miss you as the day gets closer to your first anniversary. Anniversary syndrome it what it's called. I talked to some more nice people tonight and maybe you know Lily or Zen. I place lights around your area and the flowers I put on your area are starting to grow. It is had to believe I have 20,000 or 3500 words more to write, then Ginny told me how to continue. I feel your loving Spirit around and have dreams of you. I hope your having fun with the other babies there and no illness or sickness. I know one day you and I will be together again. Take care my precious beautiful baby. It's going to be hard when Feb 18th comes by, but I will pray you will help get me though it. I will think of the tears as rain. Love you so much. Daddy
Feb 5, 2014, Hi baby cat. Great news, Ginny renewed our memorial and I am so excited. Only two more weeks until your one year anniversary. Then on the 20th, I go in for back surgery. I could have had it done on the 13th, but I would not be mobile. I wanted to be with you all day on Feb 18th in your yard and have a candlelight memorial for you. Just you and me. Tazma I miss you so much. I can hardly believe it has been a year. All I know is the love you and I have for each other. That will never change. I need to go now sweet kitty but I will be back. You stay healthy and have fun with the other fur babies. I need to wipe off the tear off the computer screen again. Love you so much. Love Daddy
Feb 15, 2014, dearest Tazma, your sister Taffy is very sick. I took her to the vet last night and found out she has many things wrong especially with her labs. The vet said she may not have long and there is a chance she may be with you on exactly the day you left me one year ago Feb 18, 2013. I also scheduled back surgery for Feb 20th before I knew about Taffy last night. Yesterday was Valentines Day and I was going to wish you a Happy Valentines but was tied up all night with giving Taffy meds and trying to reverse what the labs said. The vet said she will wait until Monday the 17th and see if the meds are working. I want to cancel surgery to be with Taffy. I can not hardly take it if I lost her around the time or same day as you. Please tell me what to do Tazma as I do not want to lose your sister so soon. I waited 3 years for back surgery but would cancel it to be with her. Was not a "Happy Valentine's". I love you so much and it would be so hard again to go through this. So many things. Your aunt Shelly had surgery yesterday too at only 25 years old. She is doing better today I am so stressed. You know i love you so much and hope your spirit will talk to me as what to do with everything. Please little loving Tazma, send me a word or sign as what to do as I can not see through the tears. I also have your other two sisters Runt and Lana who will probley go into depression as Runt and Taffy did when you left us. I will be with you at your resting place on Tue Feb 18th for a memorial service. I need to have you by my side. I love you and hope you had a good Valentine's Day at Rainbow Bridge. Ginny is so kind. I love you sweet baby cat. ALWAYS. Love Daddy...please send a sign of help.
Feb 17, 2014, Tazma dear, Taffy is doing better with the meds but I take her into the Vet this afternoon for lab re checks. Please pray for your sister to get well. You fooled the vet when they said you had a week and I insisted on meds and without you having any pain, gave me 2 1/2 years more love. Please use your spirit to touch Taffy and do the same. Sassy, Brenda's baby left her one year ago today, 2/17. Pray for her and all the others. If no emergency happens by tomorrow, I will be with you on your first anniversary. Love you my loving Tazma baby. Daddy
FEBRUARY 18, 2014, Dearest Tazma, pretty girl, loving Kitty, Today is ONE YEAR from when I last held you in my lap. This day actually started 2/14 when I thought Valentine's Day would be "Happy". Your sister Taffy got deathly sick that day, 4 days from your anniversary, and 6 days from much needed back surgery I cancelled 2 years ago. All set and registered with the hospital, come home for a Wife Valentine's only to find your sister Taffy lifeless. Rushed to the vet with no hope of making the weekend, my persistence of giving her meds and try anything paid off for now. Monday Taffy had 2 days of meds and had became just about her old self. Gave meds to her Friday and her labs that were off the scale high turned into normal labs by Monday. Now we need to get Taffy to eat and drink on her own instead of force fed and she needs to use potty soon. Pray for her Tazma. I cancelled surgery for now until April 7 or 14 so I can give Taffy meds and food. Then finally today I enjoyed our time together at your resting place reading the Rainbow Bridge poem, this one year memorial, pretty flowers planted by you and a good daddy/Tazma talk. I feel better now, but worried about Taffy. Anyway sweet Kitty, I am in touch with Brenda and hope you are with Sassy and Frosty. Love them and play with them. I believe we will one day see each other again and have that Kitty love I miss so much. Take care on your one year anniversary. I love you and miss you and you will always be my first sweet baby. Love so much...Daddy
February 26, 2014, Tazma kitty, I love you and miss you. Your sister is still going to the Vet who I think is ripping us off. I am changing Vets this Friday. Taffy was sick like you when you were 12 and is on many medicines. She is almost back to normal just not as active and I hope your spirit will guide me as what to do and who to go to. I want your sister around for a long time and I know it can be done. Today is the first day of rain and the rest of the week is going to rain harder. Put your raincoat on and stay dry. My hope is to be with you again one day. I hope all of can be together with no pain or problems. I need to put out a call to my friends at Rainbow Bridge as to how to pick a good Vet that will not sell you things you don't need or over charge for meds and not needed tests. Your Vet has retired and now I am seeing so many complaints on Vets, primarily that they are better car salesmen then Vets. I know people are in business to make money to live, but not to be crooks to guys like me on SSI and keep saying how easy it is to used a credit card. Dear Tazma, please guide me to the next step for Taffy. Lets get her well and happy. Love you so much my little tails. Daddy
February 28, 2014, Hi pretty baby. It is raining very hard today. This is the first heavy rain since before you left me. I am taking your sister Taffy to a new Vet today. The Vet I took her to on 2/14/14 has been ripping me off. Taffy is much better but this Vet wants to do tests after tests and give expensive medicine. I look here up on YELP and she has a history of people saying the same thing. Over charging for unneeded tests after the fur baby is fully well. This Vet has a very high rating of not selling cars but caring for all the fur babies and works with costs, not over charging. I pray your spirit Tazma can enter Taffy's body and be sure she is well and not needing anything further today. Please make her well. Your other two sisters are doing fine. It has been just over a year since we parted and the broken heart I have has not started to heal yet. I miss my Tazma so much and if something happens to Taffy, I don't know how I will feel but I hope we all will be together again when the time comes. Your are such a sweet baby and made me feel loved every day. I know you will never be replaced but at least I have a place to come to talk to you. I usually feel better after writing you. I need to get ready to take Taffy to the new Vet so please help me and her to get through this with good news. Take care pretty girl. I love you. Daddy
March 20, 2014, My dear Tazma, Taffy is better and we are all thinking about you. The new Vet is awesome. He said Taffy is a happy and healthy cat. She has to be on medicine like you did for thyroid but she is OK. Please keep watch over her and the other two that they stay healthy and live a long and happy life. I made a pretty folder of this Memorial of one year. Feb 18, 2013 to Feb 2014. It is next to your picture book so I can read it anytime and see you as well. I hope one day to see you again. Your as beautiful as the day I got you. Take care my little one. I love you. Daddy
April 13, 2014, dear baby Tazma. Tomorrow I go in for back surgery. I am going to miss you here where I can talk to you outside when I want. I pray I make it through the surgery and my back will heal. If something happens to me otherwise, I hope to be with you at Rainbow Bridge. I know you are waiting for the day we get together again and I miss you so much. Almost 14 months and I remember the very day you left me to Rainbow Bridge. I hope to see all the fur babies where you are. I hope to be reunited with no pain and an everlasting life with you. Same would be when it comes time for your sisters Taffy, Runt, and Lana. In the meantime, I do not think my work on earth is done yet. But if it is, I hope to see your precious face, cute meow, and loving spirit. You and I had 15 1/2 years together and I will never forget each day. I don't want to cry, I want to be happy. Maybe you can send a prayer down for me and all the other Guardians and fur babies where you are. I love you so much. I see your picture every day. I wrote and printed this epitaph out on your one year anniversary. You were my first sweetie kitty and I could think of nothing but to be out of pain and have you in my arms again. I will write you after the surgery and if something goes wrong, I hope to see you waiting for me to show me around your new place. I love you and cherish you. Daddy forever.
April 21, 2014, Dearest Tazma baby, I made it through the surgery and it seems to be better now. Thank you for being a part of my healing. I thought of you in the hospital and that kept a smile going. I hope you are doing well and having fun. I know the day will come when we will be together again, but for now we can communicate with each other. I love you and miss you sweet kitty. Daddy.
May 23, 2014, Hi little Tazma. It has been awhile and I wanted to remind you I will never ever forget you. It is over a month since surgery and pain is still present. Not as bad but the Doctor is going to look at it next week. Also I want to wish you a Happy Memorial Day. The tree planted next to you is growing so fast. It is a Nectarine tree and we just had fruit. It was so sweet and good for the first fruit. I know you had something to do with that. You now have shade and branches hovering over you. You are so pretty. I always think about you and your sister Lana reminds me of all your antics. She has your spirit in you. Someday we will reunite. Until then I will keep writing you. My heart goes out to everyone on Rainbow Bridge. They are always welcome to write me. Dearest Tazma, have lots of fun and enjoy your everlasting life. God Bless you sweetie. Love Daddy
June 20, 2014, Hi Tazma Tails. How have you been? I hope you are Happy and Healthy and having fun. I have been missing you for awhile. I don't know what the future holds but my back is still hurting. Not as much as before surgery but still enough that it is hard to sleep. I hope when that day comes we reunite, there will be no more pain, stress, or worry. No matter how many beautiful fur babies that are out there, you stick out with so much love. I always felt better when you would lay on my chest at night. I miss our play time. Please take care and lets pray for all the Guardians that lost their friends reunite someday too. All of you are special to each of us. Missing you lots. Love Daddy
July 20, 2014 My dearest Tazma, for some reason I am thinking about you more today then before. I am home alone this weekend and everyone is gone. I see your pretty face in front of me every day. I miss all the fun we use to have. 15 1/2 years of memories. I remember each day as if it was that day today. Anyway it has been a month since I wrote and needed to let you know I miss you, love you, and hope to be with you some day soon. You are my only true friend. I hope you are doing OK. Playing and having fun with the other fur babies and feeling no pain. I just wish so much you were her in my lap right now. I could use your kitty love. I don't want to use up to many words, I am getting close to my maximum. I love you and will write soon. Hugs and kisses little one. Daddy
August 11, 2014 Hiya Tazma. I miss you and dreamed you were here last night. Your sisters are fine but no fur baby can replace the love we had. I miss your kitty pawing on my arms. So much I can say and I am running out of room. I will ask Ginny how I can extend my emails to you. I was out visiting you today and it is hot. I hope where you are there is only one temperture. I can hardly believe the days go by so quick. I feel so sad. You gave me such joy. I will never ever forget you and I really hope to be reunited with you soon. The only 4 leg person that I could relate to and smile after our talks. Sweet baby, take care and know I love you more then anything. Enjoy your new friends at the Rainbow and one day I might meet them too. Love you always and forever my beautiful kitty. Love Daddy
Sept 19, 2014, Hi Baby cat. I miss you. I have been thinking about you everyday. I love you so much. I hope you are having fun with your new friends. I need to cut it short, limited on remaining words. I will open a new account if it comes to that. I just want you to always remember I am here and love you and miss you. Take care sweet baby girl. Love Daddy
Sept 30, 2014, Hi Kitty Tazma, I wanted to check in with you and see how you are. I am missing you a lot again. I know you are waiting for me one day and I can hardly wait to see you again. Running out of space so I will be short today. Just know I always think about you and sure could use your kitty love right now.
Oct. 28, 2014 Dearest Tazma, I am so sorry I don't write more. I did not want to use up all my characters yet. Ginny was nice to tel me how to extend the words. I never will stop thinking of you. I miss your unique way of playing, growing up, and your almighty love for me and everyone. I don't know why but I feel closer to you then any human. Please send me a box of your kitty love and paw rubs as I miss them so much. You are as special to me as the other members are to their pets. I could sure use a double dose of love today. I hope you are still enjoying Rainbow Bridge. 20 months later and here we both are. I hope we will see each other again soon. Your sisters are doing well. Taffy is 13 or 14 and slowing down but I am taking care of her as I did you. I love you little girl and never forget that. You basically are all that I have. Take care sweetie and I will write soon. Happy Halloween. Love dad
Nov 22, 2014 Hi little baby Tazma. It is getting closer to Thanksgiving and Christmas and I need to make this short to have room for words later. I am making your area pretty and I will be hoping we can be together soon. Living is not for me without you. I tried all this time but I just Hope Lana, Taffy, and Runt will all be one happy family again someday. I wish I had friends and family but all we have is Uncle Norty. No one calls anymore and my age is getting up there. No more good medical insurance and no saving account. I do have the best thing in the world and that is you. I can look at you for hours because you are so pretty. I will write back again soon but just know I Love You so very much. I hang on to you and my everything in life. Hope you are healthy and having fun. Love you so much. Daddy
Nov. 26, 2014 Happy Thanksgiving to my sweet Tazma. I wish you were here to give you a piece of Turkey but I will put one on you memorial. It is the holidays again and I miss you so much Tazma. More chat later. I love you sweet baby. Hugs and kisses. Daddy
Dec. 25, 2014 Merry Christmas Tazma. Another Christmas without you makes me so sad. I know you are looking down at me and telling me to be happy but it is hard baby girl. I want to be with you so much. I remember every Christmas you chase the Christmas paper. You are the best part of the family. I love you and will write again soon. I am running out of word room so I will continue writing per Ginny on Poems and Stories. Love you forever. Daddy
Dec. 31, 2014 Happy New Year sweet Tazma. Your sisters Taffy, Runt, and Lana are sitting on the couch with me. I wish you were here so much. I miss your Kitty pawing and love. Hope you are having fun. I also hope to see you one day again. I will try to stay up until 2015 to wish you a Happy New Year. We love you so much sweetie. Take care Daddy
Jan 30, 2015 Hi Tazma. The new year is here and I am limited on how many words I have left to use here. I will continue writing you after this on Poems and Stories per Ginny. I can not believe only 19 days until your 2nd anniversary of your new life. I am not feeling well for a few reasons and have pain. Most of all, I miss you the most. I know one day we will see each other again. I see your pretty face every day. I pray you are well and having fun. I love you and think of you daily. Anyway, take care sweetie. I hope this new writing on Stories works or maybe Ginny has a way to link this site with a new site. Love you lots. Daddy and your sisters
Feb 17, 2015 Hi sweet little Tazma. As always I have been thinking about you. I am sad today because tomorrow is your 2nd anniversary of going to Rainbow Bridge. I remember that so clear, and in a way wish I could get the sad memory out of my head. I repaired your "Halo of Lights" around your resting place so the Angels can find you every night. I know you have no more pain and you are with all the fur babies that go to Rainbow Bridge to have fun and enjoyment with no more sickness. There is nothing more I would want for you except your love and good health forever. I know where you are and have found eternal life. One day we will reunite again and be with each other without the sorrow and pain. I thought to write you tomorrow on your final day with me and if I can get through the tears I will. However I will be at your special resting place with poems and prayers for you as I did last year. Your three sisters are doing well and I know they miss you to. I send my love to you and could never replace the endless love you gave to me for 15 1/2 years. But we can love each other forever until the day we meet up again. I love you so much sweet Tazma. Take care and I will be in Spirit with you. I received a condolence from Robert today to pass on to you. Funny as I looked back this day last year and I was told by that bad Vet sister Taffy would not make it through the weekend in 2014. Taffy is in front of me right now as healthy as can be. Your power and love through your Spirit gave her strength back and is still going strong. We have a new vet now. You would really like him. Love you always and forever....Daddy
FEB 18, 2015 Dearest Tazma. I just came from your resting place and spent an hour of prayer and meditation with you. 2 Years ago you wer on my lap and today you are at Rainbow Bridge. I miss you so very much. I feel so sad you are not here but I know you are better now and having fun. I read some great stories and poems and I am sure you and I will be together one day again. You mean so much to me. Others may think grieving this long is wrong. I find it therapeutic. I can not be with you know and that makes it so frustrating. Yet I know one day we will re unite. I love you Tazma. Take care..Daddy... For those who are following along, I may have hit my limit on words here so I will continue writing at Stories and Poems. Thank you everyone for your support.
April 4, 2015 My dear sweet baby Tazma. I have been missing you so much. This will probley be the last writing here as I am at the maximum amount of words aloud. Ginny said to continue to write in Stories and Poems which I will do. Hopefully this will post and I will continue to Stories and Poems as I need to stay in touch with you my dear kitty. It seems so long ago you went to the bridge and yet I feel you have been here all along. I will continue this post in the Stories and Poems now before I am out of words. Hope to talk to you in a minute. Love always, Daddy P.S. I have a special kitty journal I bought to write my thoughts, good times, add pictures, etc. Love you Tazma.
June 16, 2015 Hi sweet Tazma. I saw I had a few words left and wanted to say I miss you so very much. Hope you are having fun with Zaki. I wish I could have you in my arms today but I guess I need to wait until we meet again. I love you so much sweetie. Daddy
June 28, 2015 Dear Tazma. I have sad news. Sister Taffy passed on today to Rainbow Bridge as she had heart failure. I took her to the 24/7 hospital but they could not save her. I will write more later to you on Stories and poems. I will also open a Memorial for Taffy. She is with you now and no more pain. Your friends Zaki and Aja too. I miss both of you so much. Take care. Love Daddy
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